I read an article the day. The author stated that “words” can not hurt you. He goes on to clarify that it’s our perception of the meanings of the words that we allow to hurt us.
Though I do have to agree with him on some level, I also disagree.
First I’ll tell you why I disagree ….
We are constantly growing and changing through our lives. Sadly many people never reach the level where they are so self confident that they could one hundred percent care less what others say or think.
From young children we are taught “words hurt”. If a toddler or young child says something like “you’re ugly” “you’re fat” “you’re stupid” “I don’t like you” …
What is the child told?
“Honey, it’s not nice to say things like that – You’re going to hurt their feelings.”
I also believe that we all desire to be loved and accepted for whom we are. There have even been studies done, where the mom will disapprove or remove herself from her baby for a few minutes. The baby begins to withdraw without the love, affection and acceptance of its mother.
Studies show that 70 to 90 % of families in US are dysfunctional. You have to remember that dysfunctional can consist of several different factors …
Including but not limited to domestic violence, child abuse on all levels, mental illness, drug and alcohol addictions, cheating spouses and some studies include divorced parents.
As children going through all the drama of their family lives, very few grow up to have a healthy self-esteem. Lets face it most of us carry around a lot of “emotional baggage.”
As children we all want to please our parents. For some reason we feel that any and everything that happens to them is our fault …
Therefore as we grow older we continue to knock ourselves down. When someone calls us names or berates us, we feel like we deserve to be treated this way. The words make us feel worse about ourselves and the cycle continues ….