You have heard of the cup that overflowed. This is a story of a bucket that is like the cup, only larger, it is an invisible bucket. Everyone has one. It determines how we feel about ourselves, about others, and how we get along with people.

Have you ever experienced a series of very favorable things which made you want to be good to people for a week?

At that time, your bucket was full.

A bucket can be filled by a lot of things that happen.

When a person speaks to you, recognizing you as a human being, your bucket is filled a little. Even more if he calls you by name, especially if it is the name you like to be called. If he compliments you on your dress or on a job well done, the level in your bucket goes up still higher.

There must be a million ways to raise the level in another’s bucket. Writing a friendly letter, remembering something that is special to him, knowing the names of his children, expressing sympathy for his loss, giving him a hand when his work is heavy, taking time for conversation, or, perhaps more important, listing to him.

When one’s bucket is full of this emotional support, one can express warmth and friendliness to people. But, remember, this is a theory about a bucket and a dipper.

Other people have dippers and they can get their dippers in your bucket.

This, too, can be done in a million ways.

Lets say I am at a dinner and inadvertently upset a glass of thick, sticky chocolate milk that spills over the table cloth, on a lady’s skirt, down onto the carpet. I am embarrassed. “Bright Eyes” across the table says, “You upset that glass of chocolate milk.” I made a mistake, I know I did, and then he told me about it! He got his dipper in my bucket!

Think of the times a person makes a mistake, feels terrible about it, only to have someone tell him about the known mistake (“Red pencil” mentality!)

Buckets are filled and buckets are emptied.

Emptied many times because people don’t really think about what are doing. When a person’s bucket is emptied, he is very different than when it is full. You say to a person whose bucket is empty, “That is a pretty tie you have,” and he may reply in a very irritated, defensive manner.

Although there is a limit to such an analogy, there are people who seem to have holes in their buckets. When a person has a hole in his bucket, he irritates lots of people by trying to get his dipper in their buckets. This is when he really needs somebody to pour it in his bucket because he keeps losing.

The story of our lives is the interplay of the bucket and the dipper. Everyone has both.

The unyielding secret of the bucket and the dipper is that when you fill another’s bucket it does not take anything out of your own bucket. The level in our own bucket gets higher when we fill another’s, and, on the other hand, when we dip into another’s bucket we do not fill our own … we lose a little.

For a variety of reasons, people hesitate filling the bucket of another and consequently do not experience the fun, joy, happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction connected with making another person happy. Some reasons for this hesitancy are that people think it sounds “fakey,” or the other person will be suspicious of the motive, or it is “brown-nosing.”

Therefore, let us put aside our dipper and resolve to touch someone’s life in order to fill their bucket.

Author Unknown

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down.

He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said …

“You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one …

“You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.”

Author Unknown

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What a fantastic story and lesson!

How many times in your life have you said something in anger wishing you could take it back?

Anger can be a deadly weapon. It can do so much harm – both to yourself and to those around you.

Just as the little boy in the story above learned how to control his anger – YOU TOO can learn to control yours.

Life can be very difficult and it’s not reasonable to expect that you will live in the state of harmony and bliss for the rest of your life. The reality is that in the daily push and pull of your life there are many sources of conflict and anger.

Most people have had lifelong beliefs that conflict and anger are “bad” and should be avoided at all costs. In “How to Handle Conflict and Manage Anger” by Denis Waitley he shows you how to handle conflict and anger productively and to be able to take advantage of the opportunities provided.

The important thing is to not let your anger get the best of you. When that unpleasant feeling starts building up inside of you the best thing to do is to close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths, and think of 5 things that make you very happy …. Could be your spouse, children, grandchildren, a vacation, your house, soaking in the tub, your car, fishing, getting a massage etc…

Your mind can not hold joy and anger at the same time. This gives you a moment to think clearly about the situation and to make better choices.

Start controlling your temper today and live a happier fuller life

The Battle

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “My son, the battle is between 2 “wolves” inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,  “Which wolf wins the battle?”

The Old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Author Unknown

The wolves simply represent our thoughts

The thoughts we choose determine our attitude and our actions

You feed the one that you think about the most.  This is why it is so important for you to be aware of your thoughts!  We have up to 60,000 thoughts each and every day.  What are you thinking about the most?

If most of your day is spent blaming others for your life … Or if you’re caught in the “Could’ve and Should’ve” mentality, you are feeding the evil wolf.  If you’re like me you may not really like the word evil, but this  type of thinking is bringing everything into your life that YOU DO NOT WANT – so isn’t that evil?  The sad truth is that you are bringing it on yourself.

I also wouldn’t consider your “ego” to be necessarily evil.  Your ego simply tries to keep you safe from harm.  Maybe the author meant an over-inflated ego …

On the other hand, if your thoughts focus on kindness, love, generosity and truth your life will mirror back the same.  You need to be true to yourself.  Find your authentic self.  Feed the good wolf – the one that will ultimately bring you peace and happiness.  The one that will inspire and enrich your life.

Your thoughts and your attitude are what create your life.  Which wolf do you choose?

“The Station is an illusion–it constantly outdistances us.”

TUCKED AWAY in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision in which we see ourselves on a long journey that spans an entire continent. We’re traveling by train and, from the windows, we drink in the passing scenes of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at crossings, of cattle grazing in distant pastures, of smoke pouring from power plants, of row upon row upon row of cotton and corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of city skylines and village halls.

But uppermost in our conscious minds is our final destination–for at a certain hour and on a given day, our train will finally pull into the Station with bells ringing, flags waving, and bands playing. And once that day comes, so many wonderful dreams will come true. So restlessly, we pace the aisles and count the miles, peering ahead, waiting, waiting, waiting for the Station.

“Yes, when we reach the Station, that will be it!” we promise ourselves. “When we’re eighteen. . . win that promotion. . . put the last kid through college. . . buy that 450SL Mercedes-Benz. . . have a nest egg for retirement!”

From that day on we will all live happily ever after.

Sooner or later, however, we must realize there is no Station in this life, no one earthly place to arrive at once and for all. The journey is the joy. The Station is an illusion–it constantly outdistances us. Yesterday’s a memory, tomorrow’s a dream. Yesterday belongs to a history, tomorrow belongs to God. Yesterday’s a fading sunset, tomorrow’s a faint sunrise. Only today is there light enough to love and live.

So, gently close the door on yesterday and throw the key away. It isn’t the burdens of today that drive men mad, but rather regret over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who would rob us of today.

“Relish the moment” is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24, “This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”

So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, swim more rivers, climb more mountains, kiss more babies, count more stars. Laugh more and cry less. Go barefoot oftener. Eat more ice cream. Ride more merry-go-rounds. Watch more sunsets. Life must be lived as we go along. The Station will come soon enough.

“Used Here By Permission, 2010″ The Robert J. Hastings Estate

This was one of my mothers favorite poems. She had numerous clippings of it,a nd would give them to everyone.  My mom always reminded me to enjoy the journey – that the destination – the station is just an illusion.

The Station by Robert J Hastings was published several times in the Ann Landers columns, and was reprinted by Readers Digest.

I believe everyone needs to read The Station by Robert J Hastings and really take it to heart.  Mr. Hastings wish was for everyone to realize that the the true joy to life is finding joy in the journey.

If this poem has touched you – I’d love to hear from you!

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary,
because it means you’ve made a difference.

It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.

By Author Unknown

After seeing this fantastic video I just had to share it with you!

It is a little long – but it goes by quickly. It holds my attention everytime I see it. It has humor, love and shows you just how we affect the people around us. ENJOY

I love this video because it truly shows how we can affect other peoples lifes.

One thing that my family has done since seeing this video is taking time out of every day, to compliment each other. As humans we so often compliment co-workers and strangers but rarely our family – why is that?

I hope you enjoy the video and get as much out of it as I did and remember ….

YOU ARE GREAT!!!!!!

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with 86,400.

It carries over no balance from day to day.

Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day.

What would you do?
Draw out every cent, of course!!!!

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.
It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you.
Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours.
There is no going back.
There is no drawing against the “tomorrow”.
You must live in the present on today’s deposits.
Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!

The clock is running.
Make the most of today.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a pre-mature baby.

To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time.

And remember that time waits for no one.
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is mystery
Today is a gift
That’s why it’s called the present!!

Author Unknown

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?”

The other friend replied “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” Unknown

My one desire in my work (in life really) is to continue to be able to maintain my personal integrity and harm no one willfully.

I do not want to ever do things to people on purpose, vengefully, taking sadistic pleasure in or spitefully hurt someone …

I do not ever want to be that kind of person and will not partake in any environment where one would be required to operate in that way in order to win the good graces of people around them.

When you think about it, at the end of the day, all we really have pure control over is whether we can look at ourselves in the mirror and know the person starting back at us is a good person.

Although some people may have less criteria for what they think makes them good and could look at themselves no matter how terrible they are – to other people or to themselves.

Melissism #1: No matter where we find ourselves in life …. We have to live with ourselves

Melissism #2: We don’t get to run from ourselves … because everywhere we go – there we are.

Melissism #3: It is not where you find yourself, but what you feel about the means you took to get there.

By Guest Writer Melissa Weaver, SSW, Emphasis in life and career planning and family relations.

So where are you today?

Where are you going?

Do you honestly like/love the person you see staring back in the mirror?

Take a few minutes and reflect on your answers. Only YOU can decide to change your future.