One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is learning to master the art of self-discipline. Learning how to tell yourself no is an important step to become a stronger, wiser and more mature person.

While practicing self-discipline isn’t easy, there are many benefits to mastering this art of personal control:

* Self-discipline can help you achieve your goals and realize your dreams. Many times, achieving the goals you set for yourself requires you to sacrifice time, money and energy you might prefer to spend on other things. Are you willing to have this dedication?

* Self-discipline helps you get more done. By cutting out time wasters in your day, you can accomplish more every day and reach your goal sooner. Without the self-discipline to stick to a task, you can be easily distracted by less important details. Are you willing to remove these distractions?

* Self-discipline helps you have greater focus. By shutting out the things that take you away from your work, you can focus on what is most important. You can’t say yes to everything and everyone; you must be able to focus on one thing at a time and do it well.

In “The Science of Self-Discipline” Kerry Johnson teaches proven-effective techniques that empowers you to exercise self-discipline Automatically.

Focus is nearly impossible to achieve without self-discipline, and goals are nearly impossible to achieve without focus. Are you willing to focus intensely on your goals?

The keys to self-discipline are simple. If you make a commitment to someone, keep it. If you make a commitment to yourself, guard it with your life!

* If you break a commitment to yourself, remember that you are human. You need to prioritize your commitments to yourself in the same way you prioritize other people’s needs.

Part of self-discipline is self-respect. In order to live the life you truly desire, you need to care for yourself properly.

Respect every part of yourself:

1. Respect your body. Pay attention to the signals your body sends you. We’re masterfully created, and your body will tell you when something is out of balance. Listen to the signals and treat yourself with VIP handling to be the strongest and most productive you can be!

* Consider adding exercise or yoga to your daily routine to help you achieve balance in your body and mind.

2. Nurture your mind by filling it with positive, engaging information.

* Read books for the sheer joy of learning.
* Engage in meaningful discussions with people of all backgrounds and philosophies.
* Avoid negative people and conversations.
* Listen to joyful, uplifting music instead of letting the television flood your mind with commercialism and negativity.

3. Respect the spiritual part of yourself. It’s important to feel connected to something larger than you are. Connect with your Creator by meditating, praying or spending time in nature.

* Attend worship services at a local church, if that’s part of your belief system.
* Allow the spiritual side of yourself to become stronger and more important to you.
* Base decisions on the greater good rather than simply what feels good at the time.

4. Respect your physical health. Taking good care of your health requires self-discipline. Your body will help you accomplish amazing things if you treat it properly!

* Eat a healthy diet.
* Get plenty of rest and exercise.
* Strive to maintain a healthy weight.
* Refuse to smoke.
* Avoid over indulging in caffeine or alcohol.

5. Respect your time. This includes your work time, family time, playtime and personal time. Make space in your life for every area. Schedule family time and alone time just as you do work time and other obligations.

* By adding everything to your written agenda, you create a priority within yourself and self-discipline helps you stick to your priorities.

If you want to live your life to the fullest and achieve your goals, self-discipline is a must. Learning how to control your impulses and make strong decisions is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Self-discipline can bring you the life you always wanted.

Many people say they repeat affirmations over & over again – but nothing happens.

They spend countless hours looking for affirmations that work.

Why is it that affirmations work for some people – but not for others?

It’s like you have your goals and aspirations telling you how to get what you want in one ear, While limiting beliefs about your confidence and ability to achieve them are screaming in your other ear.

The answer lays in your subconscious mind …

• How confident you are
• What you are comfortable receiving
• What you really want – or don’t want

Consider this ….

There is a classic Bewitched episode where Tabitha turns a frog into a little boy.  She was having a difficult time making him back into a frog after Samantha told her too.  Since Samantha had stronger powers she began using several incantations to turn the boy back into a frog  – yet still nothing worked.

Finally they figured out that none of the spells were working because Tabitha liked having a playmate – and really didn’t want him to turn back into a frog.

Think about this in your own life. You may be just be repeating words because you were told too – but deep down you are afraid of the change that will take place.

• You’re not getting that new job, because your subconscious keeps reminding you that you are safe and secure in your present occupation.  It would be unwise to change careers at this time in your life.
• You’re not getting that new house, because your subconscious believes that the neighborhood is snotty and you wouldn’t fit in.
• You’re not attracting the perfect man or woman into your life because deep inside you fear commitment. You’re not ready to give yourself to someone a hundred percent.

You’re subconscious doesn’t just gently remind you that the affirmation is not true right at this moment – it is SCREAMING to you that it is safer and easier to keep things just as they are, because it is trying to keep you in your “comfort zone.”

To manifest your affirmations your subconscious …

• Needs to believe that can and will happen
• Needs to believe that it is what you really – really want
• Needs to be able to FEEL like you already have it
• Needs to be able to visualize it

Affirmations are only one step to achieving your goals and creating the life you desire to live.

Affirmations that WORK are affirmations that you believe in and have the confidence to take the necessary actions to change. Your affirmations need to be worded in a way to replace limiting beliefs about your worthiness and ability to achieve your goals. Get a Confidence Booster to discover limiting beliefs that are keeping you from getting what you want and learn the affirmations that are right for you.

You can’t just be repeating your affirmations like an incantation.  You need to repeat them out loud  to yourself at least twice a day.  You MUST put feeling into them.  It’s the feelings and emotions you put with your affirmations that will make them work or not.

Without confidence and feeling – your subconscious simply won’t believe that you truly want the change.

Happy people have a different way of thinking and doing things.  They maintain a positive attitude about people, things and life in general.  They interpret the world that they live in.

Happy people generally have the following habits that express their values and beliefs …

1.  Love Self
Be your own best friend. It sounds simple and like a “no-brainer” but learning to truly love yourself can be a challenge. It’s absolutely the most essential step in being a happy person. After-all you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.

Learn to enjoy your own company and to embrace everything about yourself.  Like who you are on the inside.  Accept your flaws. Claim the fact that you are a wonderfully flawed human!  Focus on your greatest strengths and gifts.

2.  Take Care of Self
Take care of your body and health.  Get regular medical checkups.  Eat healthy and work out. Get plenty of rest. Drink lots of water.  Pamper yourself.  Exercise your mind by continually energizing it with interesting and exciting challenges.

3.  Love Others
Love is what makes the world go around.  Live by the rule “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you”.  Treat everyone with kindness, compassion and respect.  Allow others to be who they are, accept them.

4.  Choose Friends Wisely
Surround yourself with happy, positive people who share your values and goals.  You want comrades that will build you up and help you to accomplish your dreams and goals.

It’s your choice with whom you associate with on a regular basis.  If you don’t want to become like someone, then be involved with them as little as possible.

5.  Dare to Dream
Dream BIG!!!  Happy people know that when they dream big in every aspect of their life – that their life is set in motion to bring their dreams into reality.

6.  Do What You Enjoy
Some statistics show that 80% of people dislike their jobs!  No wonder there’s so many unhappy people running around.  We spend a great deal of our life working.  Choose a career that you enjoy – the extra money of a job you detest isn’t worth it.

Make time to enjoy your hobbies and pursue special interests. Doing things you enjoy makes you happier and more productive.

7.  Look to the Future
Happy people focus on creating the future of their dreams.  They take the time to learn the skills and strategies to create the outcome they desire.  Happy people set their goals, make a plan to succeed and take action.  People are happiest when pursuing something of value.

8.  Accept that which is Unchangeable
Happy people don’t waste their thoughts or energy on situations beyond their control.  They know and accept their limits as a human.  This means they don’t worry about the future and they don’t fret over the past.  They don’t waste their precious time trying to change other people.  They know they can only change themselves.

9.  Are Proactive
Happy people instinctively find their circle of influence.  They actively participate in creating the outcome of any challenge or obstacle to be in their favor.

10. Attitude of Gratitude
Happy people have an attitude of gratitude.  They constantly and consistently count their blessings.  They see the glass as half full.  They have the ability to find the positive side to most situations.  Find at least 5 things every day to be grateful.  It’s great to have a buddy that you share your grateful list with on a daily basis.  Studies show that people who write a grateful list daily are happier within 6 weeks.

11. Steer Clear of Negativity
Happy people steer clear of negative people and negative thoughts.  Negativity breeds negativity – just as happiness can breed happiness. Happy people do not blame, criticize or condemn others.  They are not jealous of other peoples successes and goals.

12. Forgiveness
Forgive others as well as yourself.  Many people have an easier time forgiving other peoples shortcomings than their own.  When you make a mistake – own up to it – learn from it – and FORGIVE yourself.

13. Honesty
Every action you make should be based on honesty.  Conduct all business with honesty and integrity.  Be honest with yourself and with your loved ones.

14. Persistence
Practice persistence with patience.  If you fall – get up and get going again.  It’s all a part of learning and helps us to become all that we dream of being.  Children naturally have this persistence – when learning to walk how many times do they fall?  How about when learning to ride a bike?

15. Positive Thinking
We gravitate in the direction of our thoughts.  Happy people know this and practice the act of thinking positively daily.  Happy people have formed the habit of  thinking positively, thus it is ingrained in their subconscious and it seems unnatural to them to think negatively. They subconsciously replace most negative thoughts with a positive one.

16. Mental Rehearsal
Happy people have also learned the art of visualization.  This is simply a practice of mentally rehearsing their desired outcome.  This includes everything from a pleasant night out with friends, to a successful sales call or winning that all-important game, and everything in between.
It’s also visualizing your future soul-mate, your dream car, your dream job, or your dream house.

17. Laugh
Don’t take yourself – or life too seriously.  Instead of stressing out over situations – Find humor in them.  When appropriate laugh and make light of it. It’s proven that laughter is one of the best stress busters there is. (Naturally there are times that you should be serious as it would be improper to laugh.)

18. Enjoy Life
Happy people try to have a good time – ALL of the time.  They whistle while they work.  They find joy in every task they perform – no matter how menial.

Happy people have fun trying new things to do and see.  To them life is one long adventure trip.  They see the beauty of a sunset.  They enjoy walks in the park.  They have learned to live in the moment and enjoy it while it’s there.

19.  Decision Making
When making personal or business decisions, happy people have learned to trust their gut instincts – which are almost always the right decision!  They don’t see a problem; they see a challenge or a situation.  (The word problem can birth negative thinking.)

They look at the whole picture and weigh the pros and cons before taking action.  They don’t waste time wallowing in self pity.  They immediately get to work at finding a creative solution.

20. Continuous Learning
Happy people are continually working on improving themselves.  They know that they will never be perfect.  They strive to be the BEST they can be.

They understand they are constantly changing, and by working on ones self – they will be growing and changing for the better.

They keep up to date on the latest regarding their careers and hobbies.  They listen to motivational tapes and read books like “Habits of Highly Effective People” and “Think and Grow Rich”.

21. Take Responsibility
Happy people know and understand that they are 100% responsible for their life.  They take responsibility for their moods, attitude, thoughts, feelings, actions and words.

They are the first to admit when they’ve made a mistake.  And usually have a plan of action to rectify it before others find out about it.
Note:  The more of these habits you can adapt into your daily life – the faster you’ll be on the road to finding true happiness that endures.

“I’m Sorry.”

How often do you say it?

How often do you hear it?

One of the habits that many insecure people have is saying “I’m sorry” for everything.

Women whom are involved in mentally or abusive relationship, have this habit – as do abused or neglected children. I’ve also met plenty of men that have the “I’m Sorry” habit.  An overcritical parent or significant person in someone’s life – can really make a person feel worthless and at fault for everything.

For some reason people think that everything is their fault – that they somehow created the situation.  I think that people have been conditioned to believe that saying I’m sorry it will ease the situation.

Once time I had an interview with a woman who was involved in a mentally abusive relationship.  While interviewing her, I had to excuse my self because I had forgotten something.  She lowered her head and whispered “I’m sorry.”

I asked her why she was sorry.  I asked her how it could possible be her fault that I forgot.  She just sort of looked at me and shrugged her shoulders.  It took a while for me to help her see that my actions and thoughts in no way shape or form was her fault.

I proceeded to try to get her to fully understand and ACCEPT the fact that NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHERS ACTIONS OR THOUGHTS.

I’m sure we all have known or met somebody that has the “I’m sorry” habit.  Maybe you have or have in the past.  I did.  I would apologize to people because I was sick, heck, I would even apologize because they were sick!

People that are overly apologetic will say they are sorry when they cross paths with some one at the grocery store, they’ll say they’re sorry they want to speak to you, or they’re sorry because … they exist???

People that consistently say they are sorry really don’t even know why they are.  They mean it to an extent – they mean they are sorry for anything they may or may not have done to create a situation or make it worse – even if they didn’t know about it.  They feel that everything even remotely bad or wrong is their fault.

This can be a hard habit to break – even when the person is no longer under the wings of a criticizing spouse or parent.   In time a person could just be saying it – just because they have been saying it for so long.

If you have a loved one or a good friend that says they are sorry all the time, you can try to talk to them.  Ask them why they feel like they have to apologize?  Why do they think they don’t deserve your love and/or friendship?

Depending on how close you are, you may be able to ask them what they are sorry for when they apologize – or ask them how it is their fault.  For example; When I began dating my husband, my “I’m sorry” habit used to drive him nuts! Every time I said “I’m Sorry”, he’d smile and say “Like it’s really your fault … there’s so much traffic” (or whatever).

Stop Apologizing!

1. Become aware of how often you say you’re sorry

2. Are you really sorry? Why are you saying it

3. Find a friend or two that will help you to become more aware

4. Say Loving positive affirmations to yourself, such as …

• I am worthy
• I am lovable
• I am creative
• I am funny

What helps a lot of people is using a technique called Afformations by Noah St John …

• “Why am I worthy?”
• Why am I lovable?”
• Why am I creative?”
• Why am I confident?

5. Get some professional help.  It helps to get an unbiased view of who you are and what you are capable of becoming!

6. Recognize that you have a right to be heard, and that your opinions and feelings really do count.

7. Remember each one of us is unique.  We each have our own creativity, strengths and weaknesses.  Learn to focus on your strengths.

Note that I’m not talking about the people who just use “sorry” as an excuse – that’s for a different article.

Keep in mind that having a healthy self-esteem does not mean conceit. It also does not mean that you never doubt or have low points in your life.

Here are 7 common traits of people that have a healthy level of self-esteem ….

Confident

A person with healthy self esteem is confident in the choices they make. They don’t look to others to make decisions for them. They do not need the approval of others to feel good about themselves.

Responsible

They take responsibility for their own actions. They know they are not perfect and when they make a mistake they own up to it. They don’t make excuses or blame others to make themselves look better.

Goal Oriented

They constantly set goals and take action on achieving them. They understand that nothing happens without action. They continually review their goals and modify them as necessary. They know they will not achieve every goal on the first attempt.

Love and Accept

People with healthy self-esteem accept themselves for whom they are now and where they are in life. They love and accept others as they are – they truly are capable of loving others unconditionally. They don’t have an inner need to change anyone else. They understand that they can only change themselves. Therefore they continually work on improving themselves – because they understand that change is constant.

Take Pride

They take care of themselves both emotionally and physically. Their personal and professional integrity is important to them – which makes them very trustworthy individuals.

Laugh

People with healthy self-esteem are able to laugh at themselves. We all do silly things and life happens. They don’t fret and worry about it – they just laugh it off. They understand that laughter is the best medicine.

Are Happy

People with a healthy self-esteem are generally happy most of the time. This is because they know who they are and where they are going. Sure they have down time in their lives. But they usually pick themselves up quicker than most.