Overcoming Depression
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Depression is REAL. It affects many people regardless of sex, race, or religion. It doesn’t care if you’re living in poverty or in wealth. It can affect any one in any walk of life.
I have been there. After my hysterectomy at the young age of 30 I became a person I didn’t even know.
Nothing made me happy.
Everything made me angry.
I felt as if no one cared, as if no one was there for me.
I wondered what the purpose of life was - why did I even exist?
I was trying to work through these feelings of mistrust, inadequacy and lack of self when my mother suddenly died. I was devastated. I was suicidal - but I knew I had to be there for my children. I didn’t want their father raising them alone. I thought he was too strict and unable to give the kids the unconditional love they needed.
I continued to go to psychotherapy and talk out my problems and my feelings.
During this time, a good friend of ours was also depressed. He was admitted to the VA psych ward and put on anti-depressants.
He continued to get worse.
He began beating his wife (he had never laid a hand on her the 20 years prior.)
He became more isolated and found no joy in anything or anyone. All he talked about was dying - and he even knew how he would do it - he would jump off the bridge onto the 91 freeway. Within months this was his reality. It was a very sad day in June that he took his life.
At first I thought how brave he was to go through with his plan (remember I was pretty depressed myself.) Now as I look back on these years, my thoughts have changed. I wanted to get better - just as my friend did. He didn’t really want his life to end; he wanted to end the pain - the isolation - the loneliness - the despair.
I never used any sort of drugs. I was fortunate to have a psychologist who listened to me - and helped me to look at life in new ways. I was also fortunate enough to have a friend, Liz, who could basically see what was inside my heart. She allowed me to be me, to FEEL all the feelings I needed to feel to heal.
My psychologist told me to constantly repeat the Serenity Prayer….
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.”
Note: The origins of the Serenity Prayer are unknown. It has been traced as far back as the 14th century. It is the prayer that AA adopted as its creed.
I believe that people often get depressed because of something they can not change. Whether it is something about themselves or about another.
Depression just like happiness and any other feeling that we have begins as a thought. This thought is a seed. And when watered and nurtured the seed turns into a very large destructive feeling - Depression.
Earl Nightingale in The Strangest Secret
Click Here for more information on The Strangest Secret
To overcome depression, we must weed out our mind of the destructive thoughts and replace them with constructive thoughts. It’s not really as easy as I may be making it sound … It does take time and consistency.
When I began accepting things that I could not change, and began being grateful for the things that I did have, my depression began to lift. It was a long struggle. Listening to tapes on self esteem and letting go of your past, helped me tremendously.
If you have a loved one that you believe is depressed, please don’t tell them to “Snap out of it.” That just makes it worse. The best thing you can do is: 1) Compliment them when appropriate, 2), Listen to them, 3) Accept their feelings - don’t try to fix them or change them. Try to help them find something in life that they enjoy.
If you are depressed, you may want to consider psychotherapy, before jumping into anti-depressants. I honestly believe that many people stay down because the pills can’t change their way of thinking. In today’s society we have been led to believe that taking this pill or that pill will fix everything…
DISCLAIMER: Please note that this is just my opinion, and my story of how I overcame depression. If you are under medical care - continue with whatever drugs or therapy your physician has prescribed for you.
Technorati Tags: Depression, Loneliness, Despair, Negative Thoughts
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2 Responses to “Overcoming Depression”
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Hi Cindy,
Thanks for sharing your personal story. Where are you with your healing process now? Are you still going to therapy, or have you moved on to a different plateau?
I myself am working on a big series that chronicle my experience with depression. Mine was not my own, but one of my loved ones. I would definitely count that as the hardest thing we went through. But having come out on the other side, now I do find myself being somewhat (though still apprehensively) grateful for what we went through, as it gave us the insight, wisdom and strength to face most other things in life and help others who are struggling with similar issues.
It has been a tough post to write, but hopefully I’ll get it out in the next week or two.
Best wishes in your continuing healing journey.
ari
Hi Ari,
Thanks for writing. I just barely touched the tip of the icebgerg regarding my story. My current husband and my best friend Liz always tell me I had an Oprah life and if I wrote her, Oprah would have me on her show
Anyways I am totally healed of my depression. My hysterectomy is in 1990. My mom died in March of 1992. A lot happened - that I’ll be sharing in various posts, but I don’t think that I became totally healed until I left my ex. 1 week after my mom died he said he didn’t know if he loved me anymore - but he would have never left me. He married me for better of for worse.
I had a lot of self-esteem issues that I worked through. I was pretty much healed by the time I left my ex in 1997. And then God blessed me with a WONDERFUL husband, Mike!