“The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life.” Brian Tracy
If you haven’t already the post “Why Are You the Way You Are?” I encourage you to read it right now. It is the inspiration for this post …
Over the last few decades I have noticed that society gives us all an excuse to behave badly or make unwise choices …
- “He was drunk when he did.”
- “It’s not Johnny’s fault he hurt the other child – he was just a loner and the bullying got to be too much for him.”
- “It’s not Mary’s fault she can’t stay in a relationship – It’s just that her dad didn’t give her any attention while she was growing. She’s still looking for a father figure.”
- “He beats his children because his dad beat him.”
- “Anger issues stem from not getting enough love and attention growing up.”
- “She’s a pregnant teen because her mother works.”
I could give you hundreds more excuses and I’m sure you could add some yourself.
I often wonder what happened in our society that we stopped making people responsible for their own actions.
Stop Making Excuses
We have all had terrible things happen to us. It’s our choice how we handle them. The problem is most of us make these choices unconsciously which can mess up our life permanently.
Read my previous post “How Alcohol Killed My Brother“.
Then as our life crumbles around us we blame our parents, our siblings, the kids at school, our teachers, our bosses…. Anyone and everyone who ever did anything that hurt us in any way.
This leads to people “Justifying their actions” other than Taking responsibility for them.
As humans our actions relate to our feelings. Our feelings are learned behaviors that have become habitual. Thus we can change the way we feel which will then change our actions.
According to Brian Tracy there are …
Four Root Causes of Negative Emotions
1. Justification – I hit them because they hit me first. They treated me unfairly.
2. Rationalization – Casting yourself as a victim with no choice but to act the way you did
3. Over concern of how others treat you. Basing your value on what others think. This can lead to shame, low self-esteem, embarrassment, feelings of inferiority etc.
4. Blame – Nothing is ever your fault. It’s always the fault of the circumstance or of someone else.
When Brian Tracy draws the “Negative Emotions Tree” he illustrates the trunk of the tree as Blame. Once you stop blaming yourself, others or circumstances and begin to take responsibility for your own life and your own actions guess what happens?
The negative emotions lose their energy. If you cut down the tree, the branches lose the sap and wither away.
Are You Ready to Take Responsibility and Learn to Live?
1. Take Responsibility for your thoughts and actions. When negative emotions try to creep in say “I am responsible.”
2. Listen to Your Conscience. Stand away from yourself and look in. You know what is right and what is wrong. Listen to your inner voice.
3. Visualize. Use your imagination to see all the possibilities that lay before you. Choose where you want to go in your life and visualize how great you will feel once you get there.
4. Decide to Change. You and ONLY YOU have the power to make changes in your life.
1) Decide what you want.
2) Determine what you need to do to achieve it.
3) Get busy paying the price.
Brian Tracy’s The Psychology of Achievement states that all negative emotions stem from not taking responsibility. This set changed my life. Once you begin to take responsibility for your life and your emotions, It’s amazing how quickly the negative emotions and feelings fade away.
Being free from negativity makes room for you to lead a HAPPY LIFE.