While practicing self-discipline isn’t easy, there are many benefits to mastering this art of personal control:

* Self-discipline can help you achieve your goals and realize your dreams. Many times, achieving the goals you set for yourself requires you to sacrifice time, money and energy you might prefer to spend on other things. Are you willing to have this dedication?

* Self-discipline helps you get more done. By cutting out time wasters in your day, you can accomplish more every day and reach your goal sooner. Without the self-discipline to stick to a task, you can be easily distracted by less important details. Are you willing to remove these distractions?

* Self-discipline helps you have greater focus. By shutting out the things that take you away from your work, you can focus on what is most important. You can’t say yes to everything and everyone; you must be able to focus on one thing at a time and do it well.

In “The Science of Self-Discipline” Kerry Johnson teaches proven-effective techniques that empowers you to exercise self-discipline Automatically.

Focus is nearly impossible to achieve without self-discipline, and goals are nearly impossible to achieve without focus. Are you willing to focus intensely on your goals?

The keys to self-discipline are simple. If you make a commitment to someone, keep it. If you make a commitment to yourself, guard it with your life!

* If you break a commitment to yourself, remember that you are human. You need to prioritize your commitments to yourself in the same way you prioritize other people’s needs.

Part of self-discipline is self-respect. In order to live the life you truly desire, you need to care for yourself properly.

Respect every part of yourself:

1. Respect your body. Pay attention to the signals your body sends you. We’re masterfully created, and your body will tell you when something is out of balance. Listen to the signals and treat yourself with VIP handling to be the strongest and most productive you can be!

* Consider adding exercise or yoga to your daily routine to help you achieve balance in your body and mind.

2. Nurture your mind by filling it with positive, engaging information.

* Read books for the sheer joy of learning.
* Engage in meaningful discussions with people of all backgrounds and philosophies.
* Avoid negative people and conversations.
* Listen to joyful, uplifting music instead of letting the television flood your mind with commercialism and negativity.

3. Respect the spiritual part of yourself. It’s important to feel connected to something larger than you are. Connect with your Creator by meditating, praying or spending time in nature.

* Attend worship services at a local church, if that’s part of your belief system.
* Allow the spiritual side of yourself to become stronger and more important to you.
* Base decisions on the greater good rather than simply what feels good at the time.

4. Respect your physical health. Taking good care of your health requires self-discipline. Your body will help you accomplish amazing things if you treat it properly!

* Eat a healthy diet.
* Get plenty of rest and exercise.
* Strive to maintain a healthy weight.
* Refuse to smoke.
* Avoid over indulging in caffeine or alcohol.

5. Respect your time. This includes your work time, family time, playtime and personal time. Make space in your life for every area. Schedule family time and alone time just as you do work time and other obligations.

* By adding everything to your written agenda, you create a priority within yourself and self-discipline helps you stick to your priorities.

If you want to live your life to the fullest and achieve your goals, self-discipline is a must. Learning how to control your impulses and make strong decisions is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Self-discipline can bring you the life you always wanted.

Confidence is something everyone struggles with from time to time. It can be scary to venture out and try something new, be it a new job, a new relationship, beginning a family or moving to a different area. Other life events that may interfere with your level of confidence is ending a relationship, a job that you hate, losing a job and kids going off to college.

Life is ALL about change. Nothing is the same today as it was yesterday. This is why you will never be 100 percent confident — there’s always something new or different to learn and try. The sad thing is that there confidence busters that can keep you stuck and prevent you from growing to your full potential. Be aware of them and turn them around to be confident boosters instead …

Top 5 Confidence Busters

Feeling Out of Control

Do you lack confidence because you feel out of control? Most of us are “trained” to believe that life just happens. Some people are lucky and some are not. We are told that people over 50 can’t get jobs, that the economy is bad – the unemployment rate is high, there are no good men (or women) left out there, that life is hard work etc. With these beliefs cemented in your subconscious, you live day to day reacting to circumstances and people around you.

The TRUTH is that YOU do have control. Your reality – what you see around you – is based on your beliefs and your perceptions. Once you realize this, you begin thinking thoughts and taking actions that create the reality you want. For instance if you are in a job that you hate, there is no reason for you to stay there a minute longer than necessary – All that is required is for you to determine what you want to do, the steps to get there and taking action everyday, such as taking night classes to learn skills needed, completing applications, talking to people in the field you want to be in and when the time is right, you will be able to say good-bye to the job you hate and begin one that you enjoy. The alternative is to do nothing and go to work day after day at a job you despise while it is killing the flame inside of you.

You feel out of control because you are looking at the outside – the circumstance, instead look inside at your passions and your desires and listen to your inner-voice. By following your heart and taking action, you will soon see that you are indeed in control of your life.

Expecting Perfection

Perfection is a myth. It is unattainable. There is no one perfect, yet we are all perfect in our imperfections. Believing that you need to be perfect and that mistakes are not an option can bust your confidence all to pieces. Every time you do something you see all the flaws and none of the beauty in what you have created. You may compare your work to other peoples work and constantly condemn your own. It’s hard to accept compliments because you feel it’s not perfect.

The TRUTH is that you are perfect just the way you are. You are the sum total of all of your thoughts and experiences up to this point. Stop getting in your own way by expecting perfection. Do you see the flaws in other people as much as you see them in yourself? Probably not. Something to remember is that other people do not expect perfectionism from you.

Procrastination

All procrastination is – is an excuse not to do what you know in your heart needs to be done in order for you to achieve success. You probably procrastinate because you are afraid of failure or success. If you don’t begin then no one can judge you. If you don’t begin then you don’t need to be concerned about it being perfect.

The TRUTH is that you are worthy of success, of love, of achieving your dreams. Face your fears with one small baby step, then another and another. If you think back, you will more than likely think of many times, that you were afraid to start something or thought that it would be boring, after taking the first step, you picked up momentum and had a pleasurable time and enjoyed the final outcome. Remember every journey – no matter how small – begins with the first step.

The Past

A person that is constantly thinking of the past, is living in the past. This also includes replaying happy times over and over in your head. If you are constantly wishing “life was like it used to be,” or “I should’ve, could’ve done or said this,” you are surrendering to something that you truly have no control of – the past. The past is gone. It can not be changed or altered in any way shape or form.

The TRUTH is that by conditioning yourself to look at the present moment, you can and will create a brighter future. Instead of dwelling on past fights, look at what is around you right this second, and remember that “All is Well!”. Use this mantra or a similar one, when you begin to fret about the past. Get out a piece of paper and write down 10 things you are grateful for, right this moment. Live in the NOW, it is all that you have.

Negative Thinking

Be aware of your thoughts. Negative thinking will never get you anywhere good. If you constantly think that you are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, capable enough … you will continue to bring unwanted things into your life, due to your deep rooted belief that you are not worthy of good things. If you constantly think “My husband doesn’t care for me, he ignores me, doesn’t enjoy my company” etc, you will act in a way that will cause him not to want to be around you. Your thoughts create your words and actions and your actions affect everyone and everything around you.

The TRUTH is that you can change your thinking. Just be aware of your thoughts and when a negative thought comes up, replace it with a positive one. You may also want to get out a pen and paper and list every negative thought you can think of and then consciously rewrite it in the positive. Another idea is to periodically check in on your thoughts and write down exactly what you are thinking. It’s almost miraculous the way things seem to change around you once you begin focusing on the positive within you and the positive in other people and things.

WOW!!! Is all I can say.

Over the last few years we have heard so much about The Law of Attraction. The fact that we become what we think about. That we can ATTRACT ANYTHING into our lifes!

All of this is very true – Yet so many people constantly struggle on changing their thoughts. They don’t know how to change their thoughts.

We have all grown up hearing excuses constantly. Dr Dyer calls these Viruses in our Minds. They keep us from creating the life we deserve and want. As adults they just flow out of our mouths (and our thoughts) just as easily as saying our name!

Dr. Wayne Dyer discusses the main 18 excuses we use – and explains how to overcome each one! How often have you yourself said the following ….

• “I’m too tired.”
• “I’m too old.”
• “There’s not enough time.”
• “It’s to risky.”
• “I don’t have enough money.”

These are just 5 of the excuses he goes over. I have never heard anyone explain how to overcome our negative thought behaviors in such an easy manner before. Following his program, you’ll easily be able to overcome your negative thought patterns.

Get Excuses Begone Today!

If you get a chance, watch Wayne Dyer on PBS the week of June 1st. There is an added guest speaker. Dan Caro, a true inspiration to us all!!! Dan was severely burned when he was barely 2 years old. When the doctors unwrapped his hands – his hands fell off. Dan underwent over 80 reconstructive sugeries.

With no hands he states his biggest obstacle – was tying his shoe. Today he is an accomplished drummer. Visit his site DanCaro.com and BE INSPIRED!!!

Wishing you happiness and prosperity in your life!

“The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life.” Brian Tracy

If you haven’t already the post “Why Are You the Way You Are?” I encourage you to read it right now. It is the inspiration for this post …

Over the last few decades I have noticed that society gives us all an excuse to behave badly or make unwise choices …

• “He was drunk when he did.”
• “It’s not Johnny’s fault he hurt the other child – he was just a loner and the bullying got to be too much for him.”
• “It’s not Mary’s fault she can’t stay in a relationship – It’s just that her dad didn’t give her any attention while she was growing. She’s still looking for a father figure.”
• “He beats his children because his dad beat him.”
• “Anger issues stem from not getting enough love and attention growing up.”
• “She’s a pregnant teen because her mother works.”

I could give you hundreds more excuses and I’m sure you could add some yourself.

I often wonder what happened in our society that we stopped making people responsible for their own actions.

Stop Making Excuses

We have all had terrible things happen to us. It’s our choice how we handle them. The problem is most of us make these choices unconsciously which can mess up our life permanently.
Read my previous post “How Alcohol Killed My Brother“.

Then as our life crumbles around us we blame our parents, our siblings, the kids at school, our teachers, our bosses…. Anyone and everyone who ever did anything that hurt us in any way.

This leads to people “Justifying their actions” other than Taking responsibility for them.

As humans our actions relate to our feelings. Our feelings are learned behaviors that have become habitual. Thus we can change the way we feel which will then change our actions.

According to Brian Tracy there are …

Four Root Causes of Negative Emotions

1.  Justification – I hit them because they hit me first. They treated me unfairly.

2.  Rationalization – Casting yourself as a victim with no choice but to act the way you did

3.  Over concern of how others treat you. Basing your value on what others think. This can lead to shame, low self-esteem, embarrassment, feelings of inferiority etc.

4.  Blame – Nothing is ever your fault. It’s always the fault of the circumstance or of someone else.

When Brian Tracy draws the “Negative Emotions Tree” he illustrates the trunk of the tree as Blame. Once you stop blaming yourself, others or circumstances and begin to take responsibility for your own life and your own actions guess what happens?

The negative emotions lose their energy. If you cut down the tree, the branches lose the sap and wither away.

Are You Ready to Take Responsibility and Learn to Live?

1. Take Responsibility for your thoughts and actions. When negative emotions try to creep in say “I am responsible.”

2. Listen to Your Conscience. Stand away from yourself and look in. You know what is right and what is wrong. Listen to your inner voice.

3. Visualize. Use your imagination to see all the possibilities that lay before you. Choose where you want to go in your life and visualize how great you will feel once you get there.

4. Decide to Change. You and ONLY YOU have the power to make changes in your life.

1) Decide what you want.
2) Determine what you need to do to achieve it.
3) Get busy paying the price.

Brian Tracy’s The Psychology of Achievement states that all negative emotions stem from not taking responsibility. This set changed my life. Once you begin to take responsibility for your life and your emotions, It’s amazing how quickly the negative emotions and feelings fade away.

Being free from negativity makes room for you to lead a HAPPY LIFE.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” Brian Tracy

Growing up, Mom always told me stories. Some of my favorite memories of her are her telling me stories and singing to me. A lot of the stories Mom told were motivational.

I have shared my favorite story from my Mom in the post

“Why are you the way you are?”

In Memory of my Brother, Michael Bass; 1955-2008
Remembering the Fun and the Good times – As well as the abuse we suffered.

An Abusive Father

Dad was not a very nice person. He never hit my mom and didn’t drink. He did however have a violent temper towards us kids. I could write a book about all the abuse my siblings and I suffered at his hands.

My brother Mike started drinking at age 14 to try to escape the emotional anguish. I turned to friends and my creative mindset. I wrote stories and daydreamed a lot. Mike and I could actually be the two siblings in “Why are you the way you are?”

Sadly, when you turn to alcohol, it makes it impossible to deal with the emotional anguish and get on with your life.

My brother was a Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Sober he was the nicest person. He had loads of talent. He was a great singer, and could play musical instruments. He handcrafted beautiful wooden clocks, tables, picture frames and pen holders to name a few. He could also draw.

Drunk he was a selfish, loud and obnoxious … From about age 21 to 45 he spent most of his life in prison – for stupid crimes he committed while drunk.

Every time he went to jail or prison he became a trustee within a month because he was sober. He often called me crying, “I don’t deserve to be in here. I don’t remember doing it. I was drunk.”

I would reply, “You do deserve to be in there. You chose to take the first drink.”

A Reason to Stop Drinking?

My brother met the love of his life in 1999 – Linda. This was right after his last prison stint. He became a model parolee that was honored in the local paper. He had finally stopped drinking – not so much for himself but for Linda. I think for the first time in his life he not only felt needed – but felt accepted for who he truly was.

Linda died of cancer in August 2007. Mike went right back to drinking. He drank heavier than he ever had. Sadly, he drank himself to his death in March of 2008. After a two day drinking binge, he tried running across the freeway and got hit by a semi-truck.

Looking back, I see that Mike never took responsibility for his own life. He always justified his actions because “It was the booze”. He justified drinking by blaming the abuse he suffered as a child from Dad.

He stopped drinking for Linda – Not for himself.  Linda was his self-worth.

Why do people drink or take drugs?

Usually to stop the pain. Not physical pain, but the pain from all the hurtful things that have ever been done to them. Every single negative emotion they have ever felt keeps repeating in their minds over and over again.

Alcoholism is like a vicious circle. My brother really wanted to do good. He wanted to be loved, respected and understood. He drank to escape the pain he felt from believing he was a failure. He believed he failed my mom as a son. He believed he failed me as he didn’t “take care of his little sister.” He failed his son, that he didn’t get to see grow up.

Because he drowned his sorrows with alcohol, he never dealt with his childhood. He never dealt with his feelings. He never confronted our Dad. He never forgave our dad. Thus he was not able to free himself as the pain.

I myself confronted my Dad. I told my dad what I thought of the horrible things he did, like breaking my ribs when I was 14. Or leaving my brother Mike and I in the middle of Arizona desert because we were arguing in the car. He left us there for about 2 hours. That’s a very long time for an eight and twelve year old.

I also forgave my Dad. I don’t think I was able to totally forgive him until he died in August 2003. Funny thing though, I always knew my Dad loved me, regardless of the horrible things he did and said.

Am I making excuses for Mike?

I sure hope not. I understood him. I understood why he did what he did. I think he even understood why. Just because you understand something doesn’t make it right.

After my brother died, I struggled. I kept wondering if I could have done anything different, if I could have somehow prevented him from turning to the booze after Linda died. I believe this was a part of my grief. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I could do nothing. This helped me to release the guilt I felt. I did not pour the alcohol down him. I never encouraged his drinking – nor did I hide it.

If you have a loved one that is an alcoholic, I suggest you give Al-Anon a try – Even if just for a few meetings. I know that Al-Anon helped my Mom cope.

If you have a drinking problem, check out AA -Alcoholics Anonymous. They understand and can help you gain control of your life.

I began writing this post about making excuses for our actions.  My brother was an expert at making excuses, and as I thought of him (maybe it’s because the last time I saw him was Thanksgiving of 2005) … Well, it became what you’ve just read.  If my brothers story helps just one person – then I am forever grateful I wrote it.

Be sure to read my next post “Stop Making Excuses and Learn to Live“

I tried to climb the mountain today. But, It was so hot outside, I thought I had better stay in my nice air-conditioned house and rest up for tomorrow’s attempt.

I tried to climb the mountain today. On my journey, darkness started to fall and I was full of fear, so I had to return to a safe place.

I was ready to climb the mountain today. But I had so may other things to do, so instead of climbing the mountain I took care of the much more important tasks; I washed my car, mowed the grass and watched the big game. Today the mountain will have to wait.

I was going to climb the mountain today. But as I stared at the mountain in all it’s majestic beauty, I knew I had no chance of making it to the top, so I figured why even begin trying.

I had forgotten about climbing the mountain today, until an old friend came by and asked what I was up to lately. I told him about all my plans to climb that mountain someday. I went on and on about how I was going to accomplish the task.

He stopped me and said …

“I just got back from climbing that mountain. for the longest time I told myself I was going to try to climb it but never made any progress.”

“I almost let the dream of making it to the top die. I came up with every excuse of why I could not make it up the mountain, but never once did I give myself a reason why I could. One day as I stared at the mountain and pondered, I realized that if I didn’t make an attempt at this dream all my dreams would eventually die.”

“The next morning, I started my climb. It was not easy, and at times I wanted to quit.
But no matter what I faced, I placed one foot in front of the other, keeping a steady pace.
When the wind tried to blow me over the edge, I kept walking.
When the voices inside my head screamed, stop!
I focused on my goal, never letting it out of sight.
I kept moving forward. I could not quit because I knew I had come too far to stop now.
Time and time again, I reassured myself that I was going to finish this journey.
I struggled mightily to make it to the top, but I CLIMBED THE MOUNTAIN.”

“I have to be going,” my friend said. “Tomorrow is a new day to accomplish more dreams. By the way what are you going to do tomorrow?”

I looked at him, with intensity and confidence in my eyes, and said, “I HAVE A MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB.”

Author unknown

So often people have their dreams and goals. They have that mountiain to climb. Instead of getting busy climbing it they come up with every excuse in the book not to do it. Sure some are valid excuses. They may even be clear obstacles – but you can overcome any obstacle if your desire is strong enough.

If you truly want to achieve your dreams and goals then you better get busy achieving them. Enjoy the journey. Focus on path ahead and the positive feelings that come with each step. Once you’ve reached the top of the mountain you’ll see a whole new land of opportunities!

What mountain are you trying to climb?
What fears and obstacles are holding you back?
What are you willing to do to overcome these fears and obstacles?

[tags]Procrastination, Excuses, Obstacles[/tags]

Stop Blaming Your Mom, Your Dad, Your Spouse,  Your Kids, Your Cat, Your Dog …..

Lets take a look at what Blame means …

According to American Heritage Dictionary
1.  To hold responsible
2.  To find fault with
3.  To place responsibility for (something): blamed the crisis on poor planning

Have you been wasting your life away by playing the blame game?

Today’s society seems to not only except but encourages people to play the blame game.

How many times have you heard ….

“It’s not his fault he was abused as a child.”
“He/she didn’t get enough love as a child – that’s why he/she has withdrawn socially.”
“He was an outcast at school”

We blame others when we tell ourselves …
“I would have had it if he/she wouldn’t have …”
“They fired me for no reason at all.”
“I had to do it because he/she …”
“I’m so stressed because he/she …”
“Mary did it so I thought I could too …”
“Mr. Jones gets by with it, so why shouldn’t I?”

I could go on and on with examples of how people blame other people for their lives.

Blame is an excuse that you’ve given yourself.  The only reason you want to blame someone or something else is to take the responsibility off of your shoulders.   By blaming another, you are giving them power over you.  You focus on them so you don’t have to look inward for the answers.

You are unable to focus positive energy on creating the life you desire for yourself and your family – because all of your energy is being used negatively to blame someone else or something else for all the problems in your life.

Don’t mistake blame for mistakes.  We are all human and we all make mistakes.  Blame is finding a scapegoat in order to avoid your own mistakes.

In Excuses Begone Wayne Dyer shows you techniques that will enable you to stop making excuses – including blame – and take control of your life.

It’s time to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY of your life!

Let go of the blame and allow positive energy to flow into your life.  Blame is a negative emotion.  Your can’t have a negative and positive emotion at the same time.  When you are busy playing the blame game – you won’t have the time or energy to correct the mistake.

It’s interesting to note that some experts state that 99% of our problems exist only because we are able to blame someone or something for our problems.

Think about it, we blame others because somewhere in our head we think we are hurting them – or getting even – or whatever.  The truth is there is only one person we are hurting when we blame – OUR SELF.

Become a happier more positive person by taking responsibility, changing what you can and accepting what you can’t change.  You can change your future – but not the past.