More often than not, we tend to focus on too many things every day, leading to confusion, anxiety, and annoyance. This stress can be hard on the mind and body, but the good news is that you can lower your stress levels and calm your mind, helping yourself to feel better each day.

In fact, you can overcome these issues with a few simple techniques!

First, acknowledge that you must take time for yourself. Being all things to all people isn’t realistic, and neither is doing everything and solving all problems or concerns in one day. No one should expect that of you! If they do, you must recognize that it’s not healthy, and you must do what’s right and best for you. Your health and happiness could depend on it.

Ways to Calm Your Mind

Meditation and prayer are two of the biggest ways to calm a restless mind, but they aren’t the only things you can do. There are many other choices to help you feel better and live a stress-free life. You might also consider:

* Volunteering or focusing on helping others
* Exercising
* Listening to music
* Using your mind for joyous pursuits that interest you
* Playing with children or pets

Everyone has different things they enjoy in life, and you should find yours and practice them when you start to feel stressed or your thoughts try to run away from you. Avoid letting your thoughts talk you out of your dreams. Your dreams are yours; embrace them!

Being busy is not the problem when it comes to your mind. Being busy with things that aggravate you and make you feel down is the problem. Instead of dwelling on things that upset you, deal with them, let them go, and move on to things that you enjoy. You can do this with your thoughts, just like you would with a physical task in the workplace or at home.

Lower Your Stress Levels Each Day

Stress begins in your mind as thoughts, but it can manifest itself physically. You may feel tense, anxious, uneasy, angry, or have aches and pains you can’t really find a cause for. If stress continues all the time and becomes chronic, your health could be compromised.

You can let stress go and feel good every day.

Try these strategies to lower your stress:

1. Focus on what matters to you. What’s important in your life? Be proactive about your goals and priorities. When you’re working toward something that you want, it makes you feel good about yourself and your future.

2. Find both physical and mental ways to release your stress. Releasing your stress every day keeps it from building up inside you. Make the conscious choice to start each day fresh, without the stress from the day before.

* What relaxes you? Music? Hobbies? Spending time with your family? Enjoy a healthy dose of relaxation every day.

* Get as much exercise as possible. Exercise refreshes your body with a surge of oxygen and releases endorphins, the “feel good” hormone. Even if there’s no time for an exercise session, take the stairs instead of the elevator, park far away from the building so you can walk, and play with your kids or pets.

3. Practice these strategies consistently. Work on releasing your stress every day, even on days when you don’t feel as much stress, so it won’t be a struggle when you really need it. When you’re feeling good, it’s natural to forget about letting stress go, but it’s important to avoid getting complacent.

* Keep practicing and improving, even when you feel great!

Whichever techniques you choose to calm your mind and lower your levels of stress, ensure it’s the right fit for you and your lifestyle. Only you know what you really need and what makes you feel safe and at peace.

If you practice this peacefulness each day, it won’t be long before you start to feel calmer, even in situations where you would have previously been over the edge. Your thoughts will be clearer, instead of jumbled and racing. Physically, you’ll feel stronger, too, because your body will be free from the affliction of stress and anxiety.

You have heard of the cup that overflowed. This is a story of a bucket that is like the cup, only larger, it is an invisible bucket. Everyone has one. It determines how we feel about ourselves, about others, and how we get along with people.

Have you ever experienced a series of very favorable things which made you want to be good to people for a week?

At that time, your bucket was full.

A bucket can be filled by a lot of things that happen.

When a person speaks to you, recognizing you as a human being, your bucket is filled a little. Even more if he calls you by name, especially if it is the name you like to be called. If he compliments you on your dress or on a job well done, the level in your bucket goes up still higher.

There must be a million ways to raise the level in another’s bucket. Writing a friendly letter, remembering something that is special to him, knowing the names of his children, expressing sympathy for his loss, giving him a hand when his work is heavy, taking time for conversation, or, perhaps more important, listing to him.

When one’s bucket is full of this emotional support, one can express warmth and friendliness to people. But, remember, this is a theory about a bucket and a dipper.

Other people have dippers and they can get their dippers in your bucket.

This, too, can be done in a million ways.

Lets say I am at a dinner and inadvertently upset a glass of thick, sticky chocolate milk that spills over the table cloth, on a lady’s skirt, down onto the carpet. I am embarrassed. “Bright Eyes” across the table says, “You upset that glass of chocolate milk.” I made a mistake, I know I did, and then he told me about it! He got his dipper in my bucket!

Think of the times a person makes a mistake, feels terrible about it, only to have someone tell him about the known mistake (“Red pencil” mentality!)

Buckets are filled and buckets are emptied.

Emptied many times because people don’t really think about what are doing. When a person’s bucket is emptied, he is very different than when it is full. You say to a person whose bucket is empty, “That is a pretty tie you have,” and he may reply in a very irritated, defensive manner.

Although there is a limit to such an analogy, there are people who seem to have holes in their buckets. When a person has a hole in his bucket, he irritates lots of people by trying to get his dipper in their buckets. This is when he really needs somebody to pour it in his bucket because he keeps losing.

The story of our lives is the interplay of the bucket and the dipper. Everyone has both.

The unyielding secret of the bucket and the dipper is that when you fill another’s bucket it does not take anything out of your own bucket. The level in our own bucket gets higher when we fill another’s, and, on the other hand, when we dip into another’s bucket we do not fill our own … we lose a little.

For a variety of reasons, people hesitate filling the bucket of another and consequently do not experience the fun, joy, happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction connected with making another person happy. Some reasons for this hesitancy are that people think it sounds “fakey,” or the other person will be suspicious of the motive, or it is “brown-nosing.”

Therefore, let us put aside our dipper and resolve to touch someone’s life in order to fill their bucket.

Author Unknown

Happy people have a different way of thinking and doing things.  They maintain a positive attitude about people, things and life in general.  They interpret the world that they live in.

Happy people generally have the following habits that express their values and beliefs …

1.  Love Self
Be your own best friend. It sounds simple and like a “no-brainer” but learning to truly love yourself can be a challenge. It’s absolutely the most essential step in being a happy person. After-all you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.

Learn to enjoy your own company and to embrace everything about yourself.  Like who you are on the inside.  Accept your flaws. Claim the fact that you are a wonderfully flawed human!  Focus on your greatest strengths and gifts.

2.  Take Care of Self
Take care of your body and health.  Get regular medical checkups.  Eat healthy and work out. Get plenty of rest. Drink lots of water.  Pamper yourself.  Exercise your mind by continually energizing it with interesting and exciting challenges.

3.  Love Others
Love is what makes the world go around.  Live by the rule “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you”.  Treat everyone with kindness, compassion and respect.  Allow others to be who they are, accept them.

4.  Choose Friends Wisely
Surround yourself with happy, positive people who share your values and goals.  You want comrades that will build you up and help you to accomplish your dreams and goals.

It’s your choice with whom you associate with on a regular basis.  If you don’t want to become like someone, then be involved with them as little as possible.

5.  Dare to Dream
Dream BIG!!!  Happy people know that when they dream big in every aspect of their life – that their life is set in motion to bring their dreams into reality.

6.  Do What You Enjoy
Some statistics show that 80% of people dislike their jobs!  No wonder there’s so many unhappy people running around.  We spend a great deal of our life working.  Choose a career that you enjoy – the extra money of a job you detest isn’t worth it.

Make time to enjoy your hobbies and pursue special interests. Doing things you enjoy makes you happier and more productive.

7.  Look to the Future
Happy people focus on creating the future of their dreams.  They take the time to learn the skills and strategies to create the outcome they desire.  Happy people set their goals, make a plan to succeed and take action.  People are happiest when pursuing something of value.

8.  Accept that which is Unchangeable
Happy people don’t waste their thoughts or energy on situations beyond their control.  They know and accept their limits as a human.  This means they don’t worry about the future and they don’t fret over the past.  They don’t waste their precious time trying to change other people.  They know they can only change themselves.

9.  Are Proactive
Happy people instinctively find their circle of influence.  They actively participate in creating the outcome of any challenge or obstacle to be in their favor.

10. Attitude of Gratitude
Happy people have an attitude of gratitude.  They constantly and consistently count their blessings.  They see the glass as half full.  They have the ability to find the positive side to most situations.  Find at least 5 things every day to be grateful.  It’s great to have a buddy that you share your grateful list with on a daily basis.  Studies show that people who write a grateful list daily are happier within 6 weeks.

11. Steer Clear of Negativity
Happy people steer clear of negative people and negative thoughts.  Negativity breeds negativity – just as happiness can breed happiness. Happy people do not blame, criticize or condemn others.  They are not jealous of other peoples successes and goals.

12. Forgiveness
Forgive others as well as yourself.  Many people have an easier time forgiving other peoples shortcomings than their own.  When you make a mistake – own up to it – learn from it – and FORGIVE yourself.

13. Honesty
Every action you make should be based on honesty.  Conduct all business with honesty and integrity.  Be honest with yourself and with your loved ones.

14. Persistence
Practice persistence with patience.  If you fall – get up and get going again.  It’s all a part of learning and helps us to become all that we dream of being.  Children naturally have this persistence – when learning to walk how many times do they fall?  How about when learning to ride a bike?

15. Positive Thinking
We gravitate in the direction of our thoughts.  Happy people know this and practice the act of thinking positively daily.  Happy people have formed the habit of  thinking positively, thus it is ingrained in their subconscious and it seems unnatural to them to think negatively. They subconsciously replace most negative thoughts with a positive one.

16. Mental Rehearsal
Happy people have also learned the art of visualization.  This is simply a practice of mentally rehearsing their desired outcome.  This includes everything from a pleasant night out with friends, to a successful sales call or winning that all-important game, and everything in between.
It’s also visualizing your future soul-mate, your dream car, your dream job, or your dream house.

17. Laugh
Don’t take yourself – or life too seriously.  Instead of stressing out over situations – Find humor in them.  When appropriate laugh and make light of it. It’s proven that laughter is one of the best stress busters there is. (Naturally there are times that you should be serious as it would be improper to laugh.)

18. Enjoy Life
Happy people try to have a good time – ALL of the time.  They whistle while they work.  They find joy in every task they perform – no matter how menial.

Happy people have fun trying new things to do and see.  To them life is one long adventure trip.  They see the beauty of a sunset.  They enjoy walks in the park.  They have learned to live in the moment and enjoy it while it’s there.

19.  Decision Making
When making personal or business decisions, happy people have learned to trust their gut instincts – which are almost always the right decision!  They don’t see a problem; they see a challenge or a situation.  (The word problem can birth negative thinking.)

They look at the whole picture and weigh the pros and cons before taking action.  They don’t waste time wallowing in self pity.  They immediately get to work at finding a creative solution.

20. Continuous Learning
Happy people are continually working on improving themselves.  They know that they will never be perfect.  They strive to be the BEST they can be.

They understand they are constantly changing, and by working on ones self – they will be growing and changing for the better.

They keep up to date on the latest regarding their careers and hobbies.  They listen to motivational tapes and read books like “Habits of Highly Effective People” and “Think and Grow Rich”.

21. Take Responsibility
Happy people know and understand that they are 100% responsible for their life.  They take responsibility for their moods, attitude, thoughts, feelings, actions and words.

They are the first to admit when they’ve made a mistake.  And usually have a plan of action to rectify it before others find out about it.
Note:  The more of these habits you can adapt into your daily life – the faster you’ll be on the road to finding true happiness that endures.

“I’m Sorry.”

How often do you say it?

How often do you hear it?

One of the habits that many insecure people have is saying “I’m sorry” for everything.

Women whom are involved in mentally or abusive relationship, have this habit – as do abused or neglected children. I’ve also met plenty of men that have the “I’m Sorry” habit.  An overcritical parent or significant person in someone’s life – can really make a person feel worthless and at fault for everything.

For some reason people think that everything is their fault – that they somehow created the situation.  I think that people have been conditioned to believe that saying I’m sorry it will ease the situation.

Once time I had an interview with a woman who was involved in a mentally abusive relationship.  While interviewing her, I had to excuse my self because I had forgotten something.  She lowered her head and whispered “I’m sorry.”

I asked her why she was sorry.  I asked her how it could possible be her fault that I forgot.  She just sort of looked at me and shrugged her shoulders.  It took a while for me to help her see that my actions and thoughts in no way shape or form was her fault.

I proceeded to try to get her to fully understand and ACCEPT the fact that NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHERS ACTIONS OR THOUGHTS.

I’m sure we all have known or met somebody that has the “I’m sorry” habit.  Maybe you have or have in the past.  I did.  I would apologize to people because I was sick, heck, I would even apologize because they were sick!

People that are overly apologetic will say they are sorry when they cross paths with some one at the grocery store, they’ll say they’re sorry they want to speak to you, or they’re sorry because … they exist???

People that consistently say they are sorry really don’t even know why they are.  They mean it to an extent – they mean they are sorry for anything they may or may not have done to create a situation or make it worse – even if they didn’t know about it.  They feel that everything even remotely bad or wrong is their fault.

This can be a hard habit to break – even when the person is no longer under the wings of a criticizing spouse or parent.   In time a person could just be saying it – just because they have been saying it for so long.

If you have a loved one or a good friend that says they are sorry all the time, you can try to talk to them.  Ask them why they feel like they have to apologize?  Why do they think they don’t deserve your love and/or friendship?

Depending on how close you are, you may be able to ask them what they are sorry for when they apologize – or ask them how it is their fault.  For example; When I began dating my husband, my “I’m sorry” habit used to drive him nuts! Every time I said “I’m Sorry”, he’d smile and say “Like it’s really your fault … there’s so much traffic” (or whatever).

Stop Apologizing!

1. Become aware of how often you say you’re sorry

2. Are you really sorry? Why are you saying it

3. Find a friend or two that will help you to become more aware

4. Say Loving positive affirmations to yourself, such as …

• I am worthy
• I am lovable
• I am creative
• I am funny

What helps a lot of people is using a technique called Afformations by Noah St John …

• “Why am I worthy?”
• Why am I lovable?”
• Why am I creative?”
• Why am I confident?

5. Get some professional help.  It helps to get an unbiased view of who you are and what you are capable of becoming!

6. Recognize that you have a right to be heard, and that your opinions and feelings really do count.

7. Remember each one of us is unique.  We each have our own creativity, strengths and weaknesses.  Learn to focus on your strengths.

Note that I’m not talking about the people who just use “sorry” as an excuse – that’s for a different article.

Keep in mind that having a healthy self-esteem does not mean conceit. It also does not mean that you never doubt or have low points in your life.

Here are 7 common traits of people that have a healthy level of self-esteem ….

Confident

A person with healthy self esteem is confident in the choices they make. They don’t look to others to make decisions for them. They do not need the approval of others to feel good about themselves.

Responsible

They take responsibility for their own actions. They know they are not perfect and when they make a mistake they own up to it. They don’t make excuses or blame others to make themselves look better.

Goal Oriented

They constantly set goals and take action on achieving them. They understand that nothing happens without action. They continually review their goals and modify them as necessary. They know they will not achieve every goal on the first attempt.

Love and Accept

People with healthy self-esteem accept themselves for whom they are now and where they are in life. They love and accept others as they are – they truly are capable of loving others unconditionally. They don’t have an inner need to change anyone else. They understand that they can only change themselves. Therefore they continually work on improving themselves – because they understand that change is constant.

Take Pride

They take care of themselves both emotionally and physically. Their personal and professional integrity is important to them – which makes them very trustworthy individuals.

Laugh

People with healthy self-esteem are able to laugh at themselves. We all do silly things and life happens. They don’t fret and worry about it – they just laugh it off. They understand that laughter is the best medicine.

Are Happy

People with a healthy self-esteem are generally happy most of the time. This is because they know who they are and where they are going. Sure they have down time in their lives. But they usually pick themselves up quicker than most.