Confidence is something everyone struggles with from time to time. It can be scary to venture out and try something new, be it a new job, a new relationship, beginning a family or moving to a different area. Other life events that may interfere with your level of confidence is ending a relationship, a job that you hate, losing a job and kids going off to college.

Life is ALL about change. Nothing is the same today as it was yesterday. This is why you will never be 100 percent confident — there’s always something new or different to learn and try. The sad thing is that there confidence busters that can keep you stuck and prevent you from growing to your full potential. Be aware of them and turn them around to be confident boosters instead …

Top 5 Confidence Busters

Feeling Out of Control

Do you lack confidence because you feel out of control? Most of us are “trained” to believe that life just happens. Some people are lucky and some are not. We are told that people over 50 can’t get jobs, that the economy is bad – the unemployment rate is high, there are no good men (or women) left out there, that life is hard work etc. With these beliefs cemented in your subconscious, you live day to day reacting to circumstances and people around you.

The TRUTH is that YOU do have control. Your reality – what you see around you – is based on your beliefs and your perceptions. Once you realize this, you begin thinking thoughts and taking actions that create the reality you want. For instance if you are in a job that you hate, there is no reason for you to stay there a minute longer than necessary – All that is required is for you to determine what you want to do, the steps to get there and taking action everyday, such as taking night classes to learn skills needed, completing applications, talking to people in the field you want to be in and when the time is right, you will be able to say good-bye to the job you hate and begin one that you enjoy. The alternative is to do nothing and go to work day after day at a job you despise while it is killing the flame inside of you.

You feel out of control because you are looking at the outside – the circumstance, instead look inside at your passions and your desires and listen to your inner-voice. By following your heart and taking action, you will soon see that you are indeed in control of your life.

Expecting Perfection

Perfection is a myth. It is unattainable. There is no one perfect, yet we are all perfect in our imperfections. Believing that you need to be perfect and that mistakes are not an option can bust your confidence all to pieces. Every time you do something you see all the flaws and none of the beauty in what you have created. You may compare your work to other peoples work and constantly condemn your own. It’s hard to accept compliments because you feel it’s not perfect.

The TRUTH is that you are perfect just the way you are. You are the sum total of all of your thoughts and experiences up to this point. Stop getting in your own way by expecting perfection. Do you see the flaws in other people as much as you see them in yourself? Probably not. Something to remember is that other people do not expect perfectionism from you.

Procrastination

All procrastination is – is an excuse not to do what you know in your heart needs to be done in order for you to achieve success. You probably procrastinate because you are afraid of failure or success. If you don’t begin then no one can judge you. If you don’t begin then you don’t need to be concerned about it being perfect.

The TRUTH is that you are worthy of success, of love, of achieving your dreams. Face your fears with one small baby step, then another and another. If you think back, you will more than likely think of many times, that you were afraid to start something or thought that it would be boring, after taking the first step, you picked up momentum and had a pleasurable time and enjoyed the final outcome. Remember every journey – no matter how small – begins with the first step.

The Past

A person that is constantly thinking of the past, is living in the past. This also includes replaying happy times over and over in your head. If you are constantly wishing “life was like it used to be,” or “I should’ve, could’ve done or said this,” you are surrendering to something that you truly have no control of – the past. The past is gone. It can not be changed or altered in any way shape or form.

The TRUTH is that by conditioning yourself to look at the present moment, you can and will create a brighter future. Instead of dwelling on past fights, look at what is around you right this second, and remember that “All is Well!”. Use this mantra or a similar one, when you begin to fret about the past. Get out a piece of paper and write down 10 things you are grateful for, right this moment. Live in the NOW, it is all that you have.

Negative Thinking

Be aware of your thoughts. Negative thinking will never get you anywhere good. If you constantly think that you are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, capable enough … you will continue to bring unwanted things into your life, due to your deep rooted belief that you are not worthy of good things. If you constantly think “My husband doesn’t care for me, he ignores me, doesn’t enjoy my company” etc, you will act in a way that will cause him not to want to be around you. Your thoughts create your words and actions and your actions affect everyone and everything around you.

The TRUTH is that you can change your thinking. Just be aware of your thoughts and when a negative thought comes up, replace it with a positive one. You may also want to get out a pen and paper and list every negative thought you can think of and then consciously rewrite it in the positive. Another idea is to periodically check in on your thoughts and write down exactly what you are thinking. It’s almost miraculous the way things seem to change around you once you begin focusing on the positive within you and the positive in other people and things.

Negative emotions are any feelings you have that make you feel bad. It’s perfectly normal for you to have bad thoughts and feelings at times.

Remaining stuck in a prolonged negative emotional state is something you should avoid. Thinking negative thoughts all of the time will drain you of energy, create additional stress, destroy relationships and cause physical illnesses.

When you feel bad it’s difficult to focus. It’s difficult to think clearly when making decisions. Negative emotions stop us from thinking and behaving rationally. Your feelings can literally make or break you. Have you ever known anyone who ruined their life because of their inability to manage their emotions?

Long lasting bouts of negative emotions can stop you enjoying life. Some of the most common negative emotions are anger, blame, discouraged, fear, guilt, inferiority, jealousy, loneliness, resentment, sad, unsafe, untrusting and worthlessness. All of these feelings cause you to be miserable. They make you dislike yourself as well as others.

You’ve heard the sayings: “Negativity breeds negativity “and” Misery Loves Company”? These sayings came to be simply because negative emotions create more negativity – On the positive side positive emotions create more happiness and joy. If you hang around the whiny negative people their negative emotions will rub off on you. Surround yourself with loving, positive people and their positive emotions will also rub off on you.

Your emotions are determined by what you think and what you feel. According to Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary: Emotion – “A psychic and physical reaction subjectively experienced as feeling and physiologically involving changes that prepare the body for action—”

Do you know what one trait will help you overcome all of your negative emotions?

It is Self-Confidence. When you are confident you naturally feel good about yourself and others. You take total responsibility for your successes and failures. You understand your life is shaped by your thoughts. Your reality is your perception of everything around you.

When you develop self confidence you forgive others. You understands other peoples actions and feelings cannot directly affect you – unless you allow it. It’s been said that other people’s opinion of you is none of your business.

Self confidence is simply your belief in yourself and your abilities.

Empower yourself to find out who you really are so that your confidence will soar. A great way to grow, to stay motivated and to become positive is to listen to motivational audio programs.

Check out the Top Sellers from the online home of Nightingale-Conant, the world’s largest producer and publisher of personal development products and services. …

You may be wondering exactly what an obstacle is. It’s a barrier – something that interferes or prevents the required action needed for us to progress. When we let our emotions and feelings control our reasoning.

You may not realize that you can control your feelings. It won’t come easy, it will take time, but the results are definitely worth it. The first step is realizing that most of our emotions are learned habits.

As young children we see how our parents and other around us respond to various situations. We note their emotions and feelings and link those emotions and feelings with the situation. For example we will often see people respond to anger with anger and resentment, thus we believe this is the correct response.

Many people are taught to hide their emotions – such as “Boys don’t cry”. Even though the emotions are buried; the thoughts and feelings still come into play when making decisions – even the most logical ones.

Emotions and feelings become large obstacles when we focus on them, and let them control our every move. Especially negative emotions like anger, depression, disappointment, discouragement, doubt, envy, fear, guilt, depression, resentment, shame, stress and worry.

Negative emotions zap us of energy. We can become entrapped in a sea of negativity. One complaint leads to another to another to yet another …

Negative feelings often lead to negative actions – how often have you said something you shouldn’t have out of anger? When you’re feeling negative your subconscious actually looks for other things to be negative about.

A good example of this a woman might say “My husband never takes out the trash”. Her friend will say “Yeah, I know the feeling, my husband never takes out the trash either and to top it off he will leave trash lying all over the house.” This can often become a competition of whom has the worst husband. Then when the husband gets home the wife is mad at him and he has no idea why.

If a person consistently thinks, imagines and talks negative, it destroys any positive work they may be trying to accomplish. The person will eventually become negative in all areas of life. Their energy will be drained. They will be unable to see the good in anything. They will believe they are doomed for failure. They will literally be drowning with negative feelings.

Just about any excuse we make for not doing something usually is based on negative emotions and feelings. You may be fearful of failing – or even succeeding. How would your family and friends treat you differently if you actually succeeded?

You may not want to disappoint the people you love. You may be discouraged because of things so called meaningful people have told you.

To live a happier and fuller life you need to let go of the negative emotions you’re carrying around and replace them with happy positive feelings.

If you’re ready to say good-bye to negative emotions that are blocking you from taking action to achieve what you truly desire …. Open your mind to Dr. Wayne Dyer’s new way of thinking — the “Excuses Begone“ in which he shows you a step by step process to align your thoughts and feelings to a higher place.

If you have any self-sabotaging thoughts at all, I urge you to put Dr. Wayne Dyer’s “Excuses Begone“ program to work for you today and start attracting and fulfilling your most challenging desires.

Needless to say I wasn’t in the best of spirits. I was very depressed and was hanging on by a thread. To top it off I was working mandatory 60-hour weeks at a job I couldn’t stand.

I would get called into the managers office several times a week. I’d usually be written up for “my tone of voice”. Used to upset me quite a lot! I’d say I could not help my tone of voice. It wasn’t like I was yelling or anything; I never cursed or said anything derogatory.

I began seeing a psychologist so I could sort out all the problems in my life. One of my assignments was to stop whatever I was doing, and write down my thoughts several times per hour.

After a couple days I couldn’t handle my thoughts any more. Every single thing I wrote down was negative. A lot of it was stupid stuff – like ….

“That dress looks ugly on Mary” or “Sue is gaining weight”

This was a real “Light-Bulb” moment for me. No wonder I had a “tone of voice”. Every thought I was having was negative and condescending to others or to myself. My negative thoughts were flowing out – not only in my tone but in my actions – which were making people feel like I was being hostile.

From that time forward every time I would have a negative thought, I’d immediately replace it with a positive thought – such as “Mary’s hair looks nice today.”

It was amazing how quickly things changed. People stopped complaining about me and life at work became bearable.

Learn to be aware of your thoughts and make a conscious effort to always think positive thoughts.