“We are one big family of people, trying to make our way through the unfolding puzzle of life.” Sara Paddison

For thousands of years people have been attempting to solve the puzzle of life. The problem is that there is not one solution. Each of us has our own unique puzzle to solve. Your puzzle of life will look and feel completely different than anyone else’s.

Each piece of your puzzle has the ability to build confidence and help you to achieve goals you have set for yourself.

The amazing thing about your personal puzzle of life pieces is that you actually have the ability to design the pictures that are on each piece.

You are creating your life – your puzzle pieces each and every moment by the choices you make.

Where Does This Piece of the Puzzle of Life Fit In?

“In our lives, things don’t always go the way we planned them. But life is like a big jigsaw puzzle, and as we enter these circumstances, we’re only able to see one piece.” Mark Martin

You may be holding a particular puzzle piece while trying to figure out where it belongs in the big picture. You are refusing to let go of it. You know that it belongs in your puzzle of life and you are determined to make it fit. You have your mind set on the fact that it belongs. You feel stuck and unable to move forward.

Why not try to set the piece down. Take a good long hard look at it.

Ask yourself; “Is it possible that this piece does not belong in my life?”

Yes it’s possible to have the wrong piece. The piece belongs to another not to you. Are you willing to let it go? Are you willing to look at other pieces?

On the other hand if it is a part of your life, you need to decide where it fits. It could fit in as a learning experience, a challenge, an opportunity or an obstacle for you to overcome to be able to reach the next level in your life. Remember that each piece plays an important part in the way you live and enjoy your life.

Every time a piece successfully fits in your puzzle of life you build confidence – that’s one more challenge that you have overcame – or more peace and happiness that you have shared with others.

Where Is This Piece of the Puzzle of Life?

You may have a section of your puzzle put together – but there is a piece missing right dab in the center. Your mind’s eye tells you exactly what it should look like. You search and search and search some more to no avail. You wonder where in the world it can be.

For some reason you believe this one piece holds the key and will waste countless hours, days, months or even years to find it.

You become obsessed with finding that one single piece. You are blinded to other pieces that surround you that may contain opportunities for love, peace, harmony, wealth, health and happiness.

Sooner or later you give up. You believe that the piece is lost and you will never find it. You go on to another piece … and what happens? You find the piece you were looking for. It doesn’t bring you the joy you thought it would. It does make the picture look more complete, but you now see that it was not the key piece to your puzzle of life.

Are You Forcing the Pieces of the Puzzle of Life?

Other times we are convinced that one piece of the puzzle fits in a particular space. We jam it in. We do whatever it takes to make it fit – without thinking about the consequences.

If you force a puzzle piece to fit where it does not belong – what happens?

It will distort the rest of the picture. Other pieces will appear to fit -where they don’t. Pieces that should go in a particular place won’t fit. It causes confusion, anger and blame.

Creating Your Puzzle of Life

Know that you are the creator of your life. Your life is your choice. You cannot put together another person’s puzzle and they cannot put yours together. Your puzzles may compliment or contrast one another. In life you will be drawn to puzzles that compliment your own.
If you are not where you want to be, then you need to begin today by creating your puzzle of life to resemble those of people that have the type of life you desire.

You have the power to choose your thoughts, your actions, your attitude, your beliefs, and your reactions to every obstacle and challenge you face in life.

It’s your choice how you create your life. Choose to create the life of your dreams while utilizing your gifts to help others.

“The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life.” Brian Tracy

If you haven’t already the post “Why Are You the Way You Are?” I encourage you to read it right now. It is the inspiration for this post …

Over the last few decades I have noticed that society gives us all an excuse to behave badly or make unwise choices …

• “He was drunk when he did.”
• “It’s not Johnny’s fault he hurt the other child – he was just a loner and the bullying got to be too much for him.”
• “It’s not Mary’s fault she can’t stay in a relationship – It’s just that her dad didn’t give her any attention while she was growing. She’s still looking for a father figure.”
• “He beats his children because his dad beat him.”
• “Anger issues stem from not getting enough love and attention growing up.”
• “She’s a pregnant teen because her mother works.”

I could give you hundreds more excuses and I’m sure you could add some yourself.

I often wonder what happened in our society that we stopped making people responsible for their own actions.

Stop Making Excuses

We have all had terrible things happen to us. It’s our choice how we handle them. The problem is most of us make these choices unconsciously which can mess up our life permanently.
Read my previous post “How Alcohol Killed My Brother“.

Then as our life crumbles around us we blame our parents, our siblings, the kids at school, our teachers, our bosses…. Anyone and everyone who ever did anything that hurt us in any way.

This leads to people “Justifying their actions” other than Taking responsibility for them.

As humans our actions relate to our feelings. Our feelings are learned behaviors that have become habitual. Thus we can change the way we feel which will then change our actions.

According to Brian Tracy there are …

Four Root Causes of Negative Emotions

1.  Justification – I hit them because they hit me first. They treated me unfairly.

2.  Rationalization – Casting yourself as a victim with no choice but to act the way you did

3.  Over concern of how others treat you. Basing your value on what others think. This can lead to shame, low self-esteem, embarrassment, feelings of inferiority etc.

4.  Blame – Nothing is ever your fault. It’s always the fault of the circumstance or of someone else.

When Brian Tracy draws the “Negative Emotions Tree” he illustrates the trunk of the tree as Blame. Once you stop blaming yourself, others or circumstances and begin to take responsibility for your own life and your own actions guess what happens?

The negative emotions lose their energy. If you cut down the tree, the branches lose the sap and wither away.

Are You Ready to Take Responsibility and Learn to Live?

1. Take Responsibility for your thoughts and actions. When negative emotions try to creep in say “I am responsible.”

2. Listen to Your Conscience. Stand away from yourself and look in. You know what is right and what is wrong. Listen to your inner voice.

3. Visualize. Use your imagination to see all the possibilities that lay before you. Choose where you want to go in your life and visualize how great you will feel once you get there.

4. Decide to Change. You and ONLY YOU have the power to make changes in your life.

1) Decide what you want.
2) Determine what you need to do to achieve it.
3) Get busy paying the price.

Brian Tracy’s The Psychology of Achievement states that all negative emotions stem from not taking responsibility. This set changed my life. Once you begin to take responsibility for your life and your emotions, It’s amazing how quickly the negative emotions and feelings fade away.

Being free from negativity makes room for you to lead a HAPPY LIFE.

Stop Blaming Your Mom, Your Dad, Your Spouse,  Your Kids, Your Cat, Your Dog …..

Lets take a look at what Blame means …

According to American Heritage Dictionary
1.  To hold responsible
2.  To find fault with
3.  To place responsibility for (something): blamed the crisis on poor planning

Have you been wasting your life away by playing the blame game?

Today’s society seems to not only except but encourages people to play the blame game.

How many times have you heard ….

“It’s not his fault he was abused as a child.”
“He/she didn’t get enough love as a child – that’s why he/she has withdrawn socially.”
“He was an outcast at school”

We blame others when we tell ourselves …
“I would have had it if he/she wouldn’t have …”
“They fired me for no reason at all.”
“I had to do it because he/she …”
“I’m so stressed because he/she …”
“Mary did it so I thought I could too …”
“Mr. Jones gets by with it, so why shouldn’t I?”

I could go on and on with examples of how people blame other people for their lives.

Blame is an excuse that you’ve given yourself.  The only reason you want to blame someone or something else is to take the responsibility off of your shoulders.   By blaming another, you are giving them power over you.  You focus on them so you don’t have to look inward for the answers.

You are unable to focus positive energy on creating the life you desire for yourself and your family – because all of your energy is being used negatively to blame someone else or something else for all the problems in your life.

Don’t mistake blame for mistakes.  We are all human and we all make mistakes.  Blame is finding a scapegoat in order to avoid your own mistakes.

In Excuses Begone Wayne Dyer shows you techniques that will enable you to stop making excuses – including blame – and take control of your life.

It’s time to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY of your life!

Let go of the blame and allow positive energy to flow into your life.  Blame is a negative emotion.  Your can’t have a negative and positive emotion at the same time.  When you are busy playing the blame game – you won’t have the time or energy to correct the mistake.

It’s interesting to note that some experts state that 99% of our problems exist only because we are able to blame someone or something for our problems.

Think about it, we blame others because somewhere in our head we think we are hurting them – or getting even – or whatever.  The truth is there is only one person we are hurting when we blame – OUR SELF.

Become a happier more positive person by taking responsibility, changing what you can and accepting what you can’t change.  You can change your future – but not the past.

There was once a reporter that interviewed a skid-row alcoholic bum. The reporter asked the bum:

“Why are you the way you are?”

The bum replied, “What else would you expect me to be with a father like mine? My father yelled all the time, put me down, ridiculed me, told me I was worthless and beat me for misbehaving.”

The reporter nodded his head in empathy.

Next the reporter interviewed a successful businessman. In matter of fact this businessman was a self-made millionaire.

The reporter asked the businessman:

“Why are you the way you are?”

The businessman replied, “What else would you expect me to be with a father like mine?

My father yelled all the time, put me down, ridiculed me, told me I was worthless and beat me for misbehaving. I was determined to prove him wrong.”

That night as the reporter was putting his story together it dawned on him …..

The alcoholic bum and the self-made millionaire were brothers!

They both had the same father. The same ridicule, the same type of upbringing.

What set these two men apart?

The alcoholic CHOOSE to drown himself in his sorrows, to pity himself and to BLAME everything on his father.

The self-made millionaire CHOOSE to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for his own life and his own actions. He CHOOSE not to believe the lies his father told him.

It’s time you ask yourself:

“Why are you the way you are?”

“Are you taking responsibility for your own life?”

Decide today to start taking responsibility for your life. Stop making excuses and begin building the life you desire.