I have a friend that asks me “Aren’t you self-improved yet?”.

I personally do not think we are ever “self-improved”.

Life is a journey. It is up to us make it what we want it to be. We are in charge of our own destination. We are the one that creates the roads we take, the tunnels we dig, the mountains we climb and every turn of the road that we make.

If you are ready and willing to spend so much time improving yourself that you won’t have time to criticize others – then you are at the beginning of a happier, fuller life.

First lets look at why people criticize others…

In my experience I have come to believe that people criticize others for the following reasons (usually on a subconscious level):

• They truly believe their way is better and can’t see that there are thousands of ways to reach the desired result.
• They are trying to control or change the other person.They criticize others that have similar faults of their own.
• They are unhappy and want to bring others down with them.

The key to stop criticizing is ACCEPTANCE. Accepting and Loving your true self as well as Accepting and Loving others for who they are.

It’s important to remember that EACH and EVERY ONE of us makes our decisions based on where we are at the present moment. We take into account previous outcomes of every choice we have made. We are all growing and learning at a different pace. Trying to force someone to grow faster makes as much sense as thinking that a 2 year old should have the same mentality as a 20 year old.

Criticizing others is not a good characteristic for anyone to have. It is not healthy for you or for the person you are criticizing. When you find yourself criticizing someone, STOP and ask yourself …

• “Is this one of my bad habits that I need to work on?”

• “Am I being totally loving and accepting of them – as I’d want them to be of me?”

Now on to Improving yourself …

The first thing you’ll need to do is take a good long hard look at yourself. You’ll want to make the following lists:

• What characteristics and traits do you like about yourself? (Are you loving, compassionate, love children etc).
• What characteristics and traits need improvement? (anger management, bad habits like biting your nails, impatient etc)
• List your strengths and weaknesses (math, reading, writing, communication, mechanical, organization)

Where most people go wrong is they immediately start to work on their weaknesses. This is not the way to go. You’ll just be aggravating yourself and more than likely setting yourself up for failure. It’s important to know your weaknesses – so you can find an expert to help you out with that area. An example:

I am the most un-mechanical person I have ever met. In fact, in High School an aptitude test I took stated I have 0 mechanical ability. In the past, I used to struggle with some of the simplest things. I tried and tried to learn basic mechanics – like changing a flat tire. All this did was aggravate me and put me in a bad mood. It made me feel stupid and incapable. The person teaching me got aggravated and started yelling at me .. Why couldn’t I understand such a simple concept?

It took me a while to accept myself just as I am. If something seems mechanical I won’t attempt it (at least not for very long). If it’s too difficult for me, I pass it on to someone who is an expert. It doesn’t mean that I am not smart. It just means this is not one of the gifts that I have acquired. I have chosen to concentrate on my strengths and gifts that make me uniquely me.

Next you’ll want to take the list of things that you would like to improve. Do you have any strengths or weaknesses that would help or hasten your improvement? At first you want to choose traits that will be easier for you to change based on your strengths.

Now you have a list that you can start working on right away. Concentrate all your efforts on it. Don’t allow yourself time to get bogged down by negativity or by criticizing others.

Once you feel you’ve got a good grip on the first thing on your list, go on to the next. You’ll want to write new lists every month or two. You’ll be surprised at how your “improvement list” changes and grows over time.

Some of the things that have helped me grow and become a better person is meditating, listening to Centerpointe recordings, and constantly listening to CDs by the experts … Most of my favorites can be found at Nightingale Conant.

Self-improvement products include everything from high priced seminars to moderately priced books.  You’ll find a variety of authors, motivational speakers and programs.  The methods and tools used are just as varied. Each of them has something unique to offer you in your path to self-growth.

5 Steps for Self-Growth

1.  Identify the Cause
Look to the past to see how you got where you are today.  For example if your goal is to lose weight then determine what lifestyle factors contributed to your current weight.  It’s important to write down everything you can think of.  This allows you to step back and analyze your list.  With list in hand you can easily see what changes need to be made in order to achieve your desired outcome.

2.  Goal Setting
You need to have a clear goal.  Use the S.M.A.R.T. method when making your goals.  The clearer your goal – the more chances you have of achieving it.

3.  Make a Plan
Formulate a plan in detail, listing each step you need to take action on to reach your goal.  A good place to start is by using the list of lifestyle factors you wrote in the first step.  Expand on these to incorporate as much detain as possible to achieve your self-improvement goal.

4.  Focus and Commitment
Be committed to achieving your goal.  Stay persistent and you will achieve the results you desire.  Set aside a block of time each day to work on your plan.  Don’t allow distractions of everyday life to get in your way.  Working on your goals each day will soon become a habit and be much easier to stick too.

5.  Look for Inspiration
For inspiration look to others that have achieved what you desire. Remember there’s really nothing new.  Don’t try to reinvent the wheel.  There are other people that have overcome the same personal development challenges as your own.  You can also find inspiration and motivation in the form of books, seminars and courses.

* * *

Self Growth is all about identifying the areas of your life that you want to change for the better.  It’s about having an attitude of continual self-improvement – knowing there’s always room for improvement.

By following the steps outline above, committing to the plan and taking action you can be assured of achieving your goals.  Your self confidence will increase with each small accomplishment.

Begin Your Self-Growth Plan Today – By determining what area of your life you would like to change.

I read just one phrase that made me wanna slap myself.

“Good work! Give yourself a pat on the back, look in the mirror and tell yourself ‘I’m Awesome!”

Are you kidding me? What’s this hokey pokey blabbady blah advice? Look at myself in the mirror and say I’m awesome? WHO DOES THAT?

Read the full article at I Will Fight …

First off, I want to say I know the fighter personally and have a lot of admiration and respect for him.  He has overcome a lot.

In regards to the hokey pokey blabbady blah advice – there are plenty of people that need to hear and read that type of advice.  I have no idea what book he is referring too – but I’m sure I’ve read similar.

I work in Social Services.  Every day I see battered women and abused children come into our office.  They are crying out for help but have no idea what type of help they need.

In response to Who Does That? (Look in the mirror and say I’m Awesome) …

The types of people that need to do this are …

The ones who have grown up in physically and mentally abusive homes.  They have no self worth.  Sadly, they spend their lives thinking their only job is to please other people.  In order to get love they have to behave in a certain way.

People like a young 20 year old man that came into the office the other day as a last ditch effort for help.  He had almost hung himself with an extension cord.  He felt like he was of no value.

During the recovery process people like this not only need counseling but they need a lot of positive self-talk.  Unfortunately not everyone whom could benefit from counseling utilizes it.  Many people who are trying to make sense of their life and who are struggling to get out of the situation they are in will pick up a book and read it – trying to find anything that would help.

So my advice to Fighter is to maybe think twice before posting the review of the book he is reading.  Self Help and Self Improvement fall into too many categories to lump them all together.

The fighter probably benefits most from self-help that helps him achieve his next goal – or how to handle certain business problems etc.

I would also gamble that highly successful business men such as the fighter use other forms of self-talk all the time.  They just usually don’t need to overcome the same issues a person with self-esteem does.  (Note that they could have began with the same self-esteem issues).  Therefore they don’t constantly have to tell themselves that they are a valuable human being with something to give this world.

A person that is seeking self-help due to a low self-esteem, because of the abuse they suffered needs touchy feely books and programs that helps them learn to love and value themselves – by patting themselves on the back and saying “I’m awesome!”.

Only when one learns to value themselves can they go on to the next level of self-improvement.

I’m talking from experience.  I was a physically & mentally abused child – my dad broke my ribs when I was 14.  I then married a very controlling man.  By the time I reached 30 I felt I had no value in myself.  I didn’t feel as if my life was worth living.  I felt unworthy of love or friendship.

It was by looking at myself in the mirror every single day and telling myself that I was a valuable loving human being worthy of being loved that I was able to find myself and fight my way to the next level …

The 3 Steps to increase your self-esteem are; 1) Take Inventory, 2)Spot-Improvement, 3)Be kind to yourself. Let”s review each step …

Step 1: Take Inventory
Take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Who is it that you see looking back at you? Is the reflection accurate – or could the mirror be distorting the facts?

We often look at ourselves in a distorted mirror. These are similar to the ones found in a carnival funhouse. Depending on which mirror you look into, you could be short and frumpy or tall and skinny. These images are not of our true self.

Examine your physical characteristics as well as your overall personality. Determine what you like and what you don’t like about yourself.

What aspects of your physical appearance are you the fondest of? The least? Is there anything you get a lot of compliments on, such as your smile?

Now look deep into your eyes. What are your beliefs about yourself?

Who are you? What makes you tick? What are your personal likes and dislikes? What makes you feel worthy?

What makes up your overall personality? Are you hardworking, outgoing, shy, funny, helpful, caring, loving???

Now get out a piece of paper. On one side, write down everything you like about yourself. On the other side write down what could be improved upon. (You can include any bad habits you’d like to break here.)

Step 2: Spot – Improvement

Make a plan to improve on the problem areas that you identified in step 1. Don’t try to tackle them all at once. Prioritize them and get to work on the area most important to you at this particular time.

You should make it a habit to continually work on improving both your physical and mental health.

If you’re over weight you’ll want to find the Best Weight Loss Program for you. With the right plan you will be able to lose weight and keep it off.

If you’re tied and out of shape, then you’ll want to get on an exercise plan. Exercise is actually one of the best ways to increase your energy level, if you’re tired all the time. Check out www.iTRAIN.com for custom-built workouts that you can download to your mp3 player, your computer or burn a CD with!

Breaking bad habits and establishing good habits are the easy part of spot – improvement. What can be more difficult is tackling those false beliefs we have about ourselves.

You might have discovered that you feel unworthy of love. Or, that you have been taught to believe that you can never be successful because no one in your family ever succeeded. You might think that you are too loud, or that you have a strange laugh.

These are all false beliefs that usually began in our childhood. Over the years w continue to tell ourselves these “lies’ and our subconscious takes them as fact.

You need to reject the false believes and replace them with loving, positive affirmations. Any time you think a negative thought about yourself – immediately reject it and replace it with a positive thought about yourself.

Here are some sample affirmations:
I am a kind, loving caring person that is worthy of love.
I am a fun, outgoing, likable person.
I am hardworking, deserving and worthy of success

Remember that each time you achieve a small goal that you’ve set for yourself, your self-esteem goes up a notch.
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Step 3: Be Kind to Yourself

Learn to love yourself. Life can be hard enough without your beating yourself up all the time. We all have flaws – there’s not one of us that’s perfect.

Take five minutes a day to acknowledge the things you like about yourself.

Take a time out. Do something you enjoy even if it seems frivolous to other people. This can be a day at the spa, a massage, lounging around in your pj’s reading a good book, attending a sporting event, golfing, fishing, going to a show etc.

Take a few moments of your day to relax your mind, take deep breaths and just enjoy being alive and being YOU.

Smile – and you will find the world smiles with you. Help others out when you are able. Helping people makes you feel appreciated and needed.

Respect yourself and respect others. Surround yourself with happy positive people. Associate with negative people as little as possible. Positive people will lift you up and inspire you. Negative people will bring you down.

Laugh often. If you try hard enough you can find humor in just about any situation.

Learn to put balance in your life. Spend time with the people you love. Take time to play. Life is more than work – enjoy it.

BE YOURSELF!!! There’s no one else in the world that is exactly like you. You are Special!