If you’re looking to lead a happier life, It’s an absolute necessity that you believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect others to believe in you?

You may have gone through some rough times in your life making it difficult to be the happy person you want to be. Maybe you even suffer from a lack of self-confidence because of past conflicts and pains. No matter what you’ve been through, you can choose to overcome these obstacles.

It’s time to be your own #1 fan and there’s no better time than right now to believe in yourself!

1. Gain more confidence in yourself by facing your fears.

* Fear of failure may have caused you to ignore your dreams, desires or goals. Don’t let fear stop you from getting what you want and achieving your goals. If Thomas Edison had been afraid of failure, we wouldn’t have the luxury of indoor lighting today. He never gave up trying to find the right way to make a light bulb and he experienced over 10,000 ways of how not to make a light bulb. Just because you don’t reach your goals or dreams the first time, don’t give up, believe in yourself. Keep trying until you succeed.

* Fear of being alone may stop you from going away to school or moving to a new city where you can pursue your dreams. Realize that you will make new friends and that you’re current friends will always be there. Now with the Internet, staying in touch with your friends and family is easier and more convenient than ever.

* Once you begin facing your fears, you’ll discover that what you feared may not be such a big deal after all. But, you’ll never know until you start.

When you Believe in Yourself, you will be free from the paralysis of self-doubt, find easy solutions to difficult problems and eliminate worry, fear and resentment.

2. Self-talk can also determine whether you believe in yourself or not.

* Do you often say negative things like, “I’m an idiot,” or “That was a dumb thing to do,” or “I’m ugly?” How you perceive yourself comes out in what you say. However, what you say to yourself can also change how you see yourself.

* Start speaking positively to yourself, about yourself. When you’re getting ready for the day, while looking in the mirror, point out positive characteristics about yourself and say them out loud. Phrases such as:

• “I am an attractive person.”
• “I am a good parent.”
• “I am a hard worker.”
• “I love myself.”
• “I like how I look in these clothes.
• “”I am brilliant.”

* Even if you don’t believe it, say it! You’ll soon realize these things really are true. You can also post positive quotes or scriptures where you would see them several times a day to keep your spirits high.

3.Learn to be secure.  Insecurity can be a source of disbelief. Learning to be more secure in certain areas of your life will help you believe in yourself more, plus others will begin to believe in you as well.

4. Continuous growth: There may be certain areas in your life that you feel you need to work on, so work on them!

* Are you bad at financial management? Take a class to help you learn how to budget so you can be in control of your money, instead of your money controlling you.

* Are you a slow reader? Take a speed-reading class or get a tutor to help you build speed.

* Do you find it challenging to speak in public? Take a public speaking course or become an intern for an organization where you must speak in public.

* Is your weight stopping you from believing yourself? First of all, remember that today’s society has a skewed view of beauty. Don’t allow the media to determine your worth! However, if your weight is at an unhealthy level, learn how to eat healthy and get regular exercise to take some weight off.

No matter what’s stopping you from believing in yourself, there’s a way to overcome it. You’ll first need to figure out what’s causing your self-doubt. Is it fear, insecurity, mental attitudes, or something else? Only then can you face the obstacle and overcome it.

Self-Talk can be Empowering or Dis empowering.

It can raise or lower your self-esteem.

Most of our self-talk is mumbo-jumbo that really doesn’t matter a whole lot like the statements below:

• “I have to hurry up and clean the house before so and so gets here.”
• “It’s been a long day, I can’t wait to get home and relax.”
• “I can’t wait till this week-end”
• That sounds like a great idea; I think I’ll try it.”
• “I must remember to ….”

We are constantly talking to ourselves ….

When we continually repeat the same things over and over, our subconscious takes it as fact and therefore does everything to prove it.

This is where negative self talk can destroy your self-esteem. Negative self-talk is very destructive. It often leads to a low self0esteem and deep psychological wounds. Physical problems such as stomachaches, headaches, lack of energy can also occur.

Often times, we will constantly ask ourselves negative questions – And when we do our subconscious gets to work to find the answers to these questions.

Have you ever berated yourself by asking the following Dis-empowering Questions?

• • • “Why am I so stupid?”
    • “Why am I a loser?”
    • “Why doesn’t anyone love me?”
    • “Why am I so ugly?”
    • “Why am I unworthy?”
    • “Why can’t I do this?”
    • “Why am I a failure?”
    • “Why do I have such a bad temper?”
    • “Why am I so weak?”
    • “Why am I so afraid?”
    • “Why don’t good things happen to me?”
    • “How come no one finds me attractive?”
    • “How come nothing goes my way?”
    • “How come nobody likes me?”
    • “How come I always have major problems?”

Do you really want your subconscious to find proof that the above questions are true?>
Do you really want the answers to those questions?
Yet, each time you make a statement or ask yourself something in the negative that exactly what you are requesting.

When you find yourself asking these dis-empowering questions …
STOP and ask yourself the following Empowering Questions:

• • • “Why am I so smart?”
    • “Why am I a winner?”
    • “Why do people love me and enjoy being around me?”
    • “Why am I beautiful?”
    • “Why am I worthy?”
    • “How can I accomplish this?”
    • “Why am I a successful person?”
    • “Why is it easy for me to stay calm?”
    • “Why am I so strong?”
    • “Why am I so courageous?”
    • “How come good things always happen to me?”
    • “Why do so many people find me fun and attractive?”
    • “Why do things always go my way?”
    • “Why do I have so many friends?”
    • “Why does everything come easily to me?”

Think about it .. .

Negative dis-empowering questions and statements will give you negative answers and a low self-esteem.
Positive statements and empowering questions will give you positive answers raise your self-esteem and help you to live a happier fuller life!

Which do you choose?

We all get a kick out the saying “The voices in my head tell me …” statements. This statement isn’t too far from the truth in regards to how your mind works.

Your thoughts are constant. In other words you “talk to yourself” ALL day – every day. These thoughts are the “voices in your head.” You’re probably familiar with the various commercials and cartoons that illustrate an angel on one shoulder whispering in the ear and a devil on the other shoulder whispering in the other hear.

This is the way your mind works. You have one voice telling you:

* You can do it
* You are strong and confident
* Go for your dreams

And then you have that other little voice in your head telling you:

* You can’t do that! Are you kidding me? What happens if you fail? You’ll be labeled a laughing stock
* Do you really want people knowing how weak you are? You are not as confident as others. People will know that you lack confidence.
* Remember when you tried something familiar and failed? Do you want people to know you’re a failure? It’s scary to take a risk.

This is simply the inner struggle of your mind.

The first voice is your inner spirit. It’s telling you your dreams and inspirations. It really wants to guide you in achieving all of your dreams. Your inner spirit wants you to open up the box and jump out of it with arms spread open to embrace all that you can receive and all that you can accomplish.

The second voice is ego. The job of your ego is to keep you safe. However the recordings that the ego relies on – are not necessarily true. These recordings are made of everything that you’ve been told, everything that you have seen and everything that you have experienced. The ego is normally full of self-limiting beliefs. The ego wants you to stay in the box where it’s warm and comfy.

This is where habits are formed. Your habits can either help you or hinder you. They either keep you in a vicious cycle of doing the same things over and over again – while hoping for different results. Or your habits can help you create the life you want and achieve all of your dreams and goals. It’s your choice.

Start listening to the voices in your head. Use your conscious mind to determine what is true and what is not true. Use your conscious to record and establish new positive beliefs about yourself and your future.

I read just one phrase that made me wanna slap myself.

“Good work! Give yourself a pat on the back, look in the mirror and tell yourself ‘I’m Awesome!”

Are you kidding me? What’s this hokey pokey blabbady blah advice? Look at myself in the mirror and say I’m awesome? WHO DOES THAT?

Read the full article at I Will Fight …

First off, I want to say I know the fighter personally and have a lot of admiration and respect for him.  He has overcome a lot.

In regards to the hokey pokey blabbady blah advice – there are plenty of people that need to hear and read that type of advice.  I have no idea what book he is referring too – but I’m sure I’ve read similar.

I work in Social Services.  Every day I see battered women and abused children come into our office.  They are crying out for help but have no idea what type of help they need.

In response to Who Does That? (Look in the mirror and say I’m Awesome) …

The types of people that need to do this are …

The ones who have grown up in physically and mentally abusive homes.  They have no self worth.  Sadly, they spend their lives thinking their only job is to please other people.  In order to get love they have to behave in a certain way.

People like a young 20 year old man that came into the office the other day as a last ditch effort for help.  He had almost hung himself with an extension cord.  He felt like he was of no value.

During the recovery process people like this not only need counseling but they need a lot of positive self-talk.  Unfortunately not everyone whom could benefit from counseling utilizes it.  Many people who are trying to make sense of their life and who are struggling to get out of the situation they are in will pick up a book and read it – trying to find anything that would help.

So my advice to Fighter is to maybe think twice before posting the review of the book he is reading.  Self Help and Self Improvement fall into too many categories to lump them all together.

The fighter probably benefits most from self-help that helps him achieve his next goal – or how to handle certain business problems etc.

I would also gamble that highly successful business men such as the fighter use other forms of self-talk all the time.  They just usually don’t need to overcome the same issues a person with self-esteem does.  (Note that they could have began with the same self-esteem issues).  Therefore they don’t constantly have to tell themselves that they are a valuable human being with something to give this world.

A person that is seeking self-help due to a low self-esteem, because of the abuse they suffered needs touchy feely books and programs that helps them learn to love and value themselves – by patting themselves on the back and saying “I’m awesome!”.

Only when one learns to value themselves can they go on to the next level of self-improvement.

I’m talking from experience.  I was a physically & mentally abused child – my dad broke my ribs when I was 14.  I then married a very controlling man.  By the time I reached 30 I felt I had no value in myself.  I didn’t feel as if my life was worth living.  I felt unworthy of love or friendship.

It was by looking at myself in the mirror every single day and telling myself that I was a valuable loving human being worthy of being loved that I was able to find myself and fight my way to the next level …