If asked what causes stress, most people would likely answer ….
- Not enough time
Have you ever thought that what causes stress could be …. Yourself resisting reality?
You may be asking, how am I resisting reality?
Have you ever said the following …
- If my husband wouldn’t be grumpy I’d be less stressed.
- If my husband took out the trash or picked up after himself I wouldn’t be stressed.
- If my children would behave, I wouldn’t be stressed.
- If I had enough money to pay my bills, I wouldn’t be stressed.
- If I didn’t have so many demands on my time, I wouldn’t be stressed.
- My parents Should take more responsibility and not rely on me so much.
- My husband Should help out with the children more.
- The government Should get the economy back on track.
- My co-workers Should be team-players.
Every time you think or say “If” “Should” or “Should not” you are putting the blame of your stress on other people or events. You do not know what goes on in other peoples minds. Nope, you can’t read your spouses mind either.
Imagine that you’ve prepared a lovely meal for someone you love. You lead them to the table and they say, “Thank You, but I’m not really hungry.” Now your thoughts go wild …. “He doesn’t like my cooking.” “I’m a horrible cook” “He doesn’t love me.”
Imagine that your children are fighting over a toy. Your thoughts go wild … “They hate each other and won’t be friends when they grow up.” “They are trying to drive me crazy.” “If I was a good parent, they wouldn’t fight.” “I’m a horrible parent!”
Do you see how your thoughts can create stress out of the simplest things?
What is the likely reality of the two scenarios above?
One, He simply isn’t hungry. Maybe he had a late lunch.
Two, Both children simply want the same toy at the same time.
It’s time to take responsibility and realize what causes stress – IS YOUR THOUGHTS.
Everyone does this. You see or hear something and then your mind starts creating thousands of different stories. The more negative the stories – the more stress you feel.
You might be saying … But, WAIT … I really don’t have any money and the government is doing a poor job at recovering our economy.
Ask yourself ….
- Is this really true?
- How does it affect me personally?
- What can I do to change it?
Simply put the answer to the question “What Causes Stress” is that you are resisting reality.
So, What is reality?
Reality is accepting what is …
- The government is doing a poor job – end of story.
- The kids are arguing – end of story.
- My spouse, parents, kids, co-workers are doing the best they can – end of story.
- My husband is grumpy – end of story.
- I have too much work – end of story.
Accepting what is doesn’t mean that you like it or condone it. You are just allowing the circumstances and people to “just be” without disrupting your own sense of worth and your own inner peace.
You will reduce stress and feel more peaceful when you stop resisting reality and just dance with reality just as it is.
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