As strange as it might sound to some people, the first time I ever realized that my life was my choice I was 35 years old.
My ex was constantly threatening to leave me and the kids and to not give me a dime. This terrified me! I married him straight out of high school and had never –ever been on my own.
I had a supervisor Carole at the time. Carole was like a 2nd mom to me, and I confided in her often.
Carole consistently told me …
“It’s your choice to stay with him or not. You’re not going to change him. You need to accept that fact and decide what you want to do. It’s your choice how you live your life.”
Carole also laid down subtle hints to me ….
- “If he did leave, where would you live?”
- “How would you pay the bills?”
- “What would you drive?”
- “Who would fix your cars?”
This really got me thinking. I started believing that I actually could live with out him. I began believing in myself and my own capabilities. I soon realized that my world did not have to revolve around his world.
It’s important to note that Carole never once told me to leave my ex. Her objective was to boost my self-esteem – and to possibly prepare me in case he actually did leave.
In matter of fact if you are currently in a bad marriage I suggest you read Save My Marriage Today. It’s better if you can find happiness and joy in your current relationship. Divorce has it’s own painful journey.
Over time, I began to see my self as a single parent. I began seeing myself taking care of all of the household chores.
For the first time in my life I had faith in myself and the courage to go out on my own. It was my choice to leave him. And let me tell you there was a heck of a lot of very surprised people – that all thought I was too dependent.
Regardless where you are today, you have the power to change it. You may not be able to change the circumstances – but you can change your reaction to them. It’s your choice how you live your life.